Amnesia
by EdwardAteJames'Cookie
Summary: The Volturi want the Cullens' gifts, and will stop at nothing to get them. And when they take Alice & Edward, a new member of the guard can help them acquire these traits. Can Bella save them, and undo the damage done?
1. Taken

_**Amnesia**_

_**Summary- Bella thought she had her happy ending. But there are those who seek to acquire, and with new additions to their coven, they can get what they want. Bella must choose: join them, lose everything or fight for what she loves.**_

**am-ne-sia [am-nee-zhuh]**

**noun- loss of memory as a result of shock, injury, psychological disturbance or medical disorder. **

Taken

Screaming erupted all around us, tearing the silent air into pieces. I froze, Jacob and Renesmee stopping a split-second later. Nessie grabbed my hand, and I clutched her warm skin. Though we were almost a mile away now, the yells of terror sounded like they were right next to my ear, and I shivered. I knew where they were coming from. And it scared me, more than anything else could in the world.

"Mom," Renesmee stammered. "I'm scared," I couldn't answer, I just stared at her. Her bronze curls were quivering in the slight breeze, and her eyes were wide and frightened. "Shouldn't of Alice seen, if something bad was going to happen?" I bit my lip, thinking of Victoria. She had managed to find the holes in Alice's visions, work them to her advantage. The Volturi were even cleverer than she had been. I hadn't expected them to come so quickly…

Jacob whined and brought me out of my head. I looked at him, and his huge blackish-brown eyes stared back at me. I looked at Renesmee, then back in the direction of the house.

"Keep her here," I told him, gently releasing Nessie's hand.

"No!" she whimpered. "I'm coming with you,"

"Renesmee," I growled. "You're three years old, there is no way you are coming with me,"

"I'm practically ten!" she whined, grabbing my arm. "Please Mom; you can't just leave me here!"

"Jake," I pleaded, and he nodded, he ran into the trees and emerged again, human. He grabbed Nessie's hand, and although she tugged against it, he wouldn't let go.

"Be safe Bella," he murmured gently. I smiled weakly at him, and turned towards the house, starting to run at full pelt. The atmosphere was eerily silent again, nothing except for the scuttling of animals on the leaves.

I arrived at the river within seconds, and I leapt over it, clearing it easily. I was dreading what lay ahead, but I knew I had to face it, we were a family, and we stuck together. I thought of Renesmee, back in the trees.

"I love you," I whispered into the air, knowing she wouldn't be able to hear it, but knowing it had to be said, especially since I didn't know what was beyond the house. I took a deep breath of unnecessary oxygen and sprang into the drive.

Bodies flew at me from all sides, and I screamed as they knocked me to the floor. As I fell, my head snapped around, looking at my attackers. I recognized most of them, but could only name one face.

"Demetri," I hissed, as he pulled his arms behind my back. Somebody else pressed my face in to the ground beneath me. "Get off me," I growled, struggling against their restraining arms. But there was five of them, and one of me. I was no match for them.

"Bella!" someone yelled, and my eyes flickered to the person calling my name. Edward's gold eyes were terrified as he stared at me, he too had members of the Volturi trapping his arms to his side and holding him to the spot. Except he was standing. Alice stood next to him, wriggling a little against her restrainers.

"Edward!" I shrieked, trying to move towards him, but Demetri merely laughed. Somebody laughed, a harsh, cruel laugh, and I stared. Aro walked towards me, grinning.

"Bella! How nice to see you again!" I snarled a little, and he laughed again. "Now, now, no need to be rude! We just thought we'd pay a little visit. And maybe take away a few things we wanted. His eyes flicked to Edward and Alice, just for a second, and I screamed.

"No!" I shouted. "No, you can't take them. They don't want to be with you!" He merely smiled.

"Where's Renesmee? I would have thought she would have been here with you,"

"She's not here," I growled. "Why, do you want her as well? Do you want to take everything I have away from me?" His laugh echoed around the clearing.

"No, we don't want Renesmee. Her gift is not as useful to us as Edward and Alice's are. You catch on quick don't you Bella?

"You can't make them stay with you! You can't force them! You know that!"

"That's where you're wrong," he grinned.

"Chelsea can't break the bonds of mates," I hissed. "Neither of them will stay,"

"I wasn't talking about Chelsea."

"What do you mean?" I asked quickly. My eyes flashed to Edward. He was glaring at Aro, his face shocked.

"No," I heard him whisper. "No, please." He stared at me, shaking his head. "You can't do that,"

"Alice!" I heard Jasper shout, and I turned my head as best as I could to look at him. He was in the same position as me, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie around him, terror etched on each of there faces. He was the one struggling the most; he had seven of the Volturi holding him.

"Bella," Aro said softly, and I glared at him. "Edward and Alice aren't the only one's we want. Your shield would be very useful to us as well. We will take Edward and Alice, there's nothing you can do to stop that. But you can come with us, you can stay with Edward. We will let Renesmee stay with us too, our accommodations are excellent, and she would enjoy it."

I glanced at Edward, who was shaking his head more vigorously now. I pushed my shield out, trying not to look like I was concentrating too much, in case any one noticed.

_Edward. _I thought. He blinked, to show he was listening. _If they're going to take you, I'm coming with you, I'm not leaving you. _He shook his head even harder.

"Don't you dare," he growled. "Bella, don't do this. This is what he wants. By taking me he thinks he can automatically get you as well. You don't know what's waiting for us. It's a trick," Felix, who I saw was one of the ones restraining him, put his hand over his mouth. I stared at him, and Aro laughed.

"So Bella, what do you say? Stay here, or come and be with Edward, forever," Edward's eyes were wide, pleading. Jasper yelled Alice's name again, and she let out a tiny sob.

_Edward, I love you. Don't make me live without you. _I thought desperately. He closed his eyes. _Edward, please. My life will be nothing, nothing without you. Let me come with you._

He shook his head again. Aro noticed, and quickly stretched his palm out to my hands. I quickly let my shield snap back in, so that when he touched me, he withdrew his hand, disappointed.

"I'm staying," I said in a hoarse whisper. If I could have cried, I would've had rivers of tears running down my face. I watched both Edward and Alice relax, and Aro tense up.

"Well, the offer's always there. Come and visit. You know where to find us,"

"Don't do this," Carlisle pleaded. Emmett started struggling against the people who held him down- I noticed one of them was Caius- and he manage to get one arm free, punching it up and hitting Alec in the face. He swore, and they all swarmed down on Emmett again, grabbing his arm and holding it down again. Caius laughed. "Don't do this," Carlisle continued. "You were never truly evil, but this… this oversteps the line,"

"Carlisle, times have changed." Aro said solemnly. "We need them. So we will take them. And if Bella won't come with us, she will have to live without Edward,"

A tiny moan escaped from my lips and I heard Demetri chuckle.

"Sorry Bella, it's the way the world works," he laughed, patting me on the head condescendingly. I growled.

Felix had taken his hand away from Edward's mouth now, and I could hear him humming something so quietly it was even hard to decipher what it was. When I realised, I gasped, and wriggled harder against the hands around me. My lullaby.

"Jasper," Alice sobbed quietly, and her tiny, heartbroken voice made my heart shatter.

"Well, it's time for us to go I think," Aro said happily. The crowd around Edward and Alice started to move away, retreating back into the woods. The others, stayed, holding us down.

"NO! EDWARD!" I screamed.

"Bella." I could hear the pain in his voice, and his hurt made me hurt more. Jasper's yells filled the clearing, mingled with Alice and Esme's tearless sobs.

And suddenly, the trees blocked my view of what was happening, and of Edward and Alice, and the retreating Volturi. I felt myself being released, and the remaining members fled into the woods.

I pulled myself off the ground, my breath coming in short hysterical gasps, and ran after them. Jasper followed me, and both of us sped into the woods. I ran until I suddenly felt arms tighten around my waist. I screamed and pushed at them as Jasper ran in front of me.

"Bella, shush, it's me Emmett," Emmett hissed in my ear. "You can't follow them Bells, that's what they want!" Carlisle and Rosalie flew past me, and grabbed Jasper's arms.

"Let me go Emmett!" I yelled. "I. Will. Not. Live. Without. Edward."

"He'll find a way back Bella, what are they going to do, make him tell them what he's hearing? Alice is the same. They won't chain them up; I don't think the Volturi are that evil. They'll get back. And then we'll move away, get away from here." Jasper's protests mixed with mine as we shouted.

"What if he doesn't?" I shrieked, feeling myself lose all control. "What if he doesn't come back? I'd rather be with the Volturi than without him!"

"Bella," Esme was suddenly beside me, and she touched my arm. I looked at her frantic face, which despite her ageless beauty looked screwed up and destroyed. She looked as if she was in as much pain as I was. "We're all upset. But Edward didn't want this. You saw him back at the house,"

"I need him!" I whimpered, and I sank to the ground, Emmett crouching down next to me, still not letting go of my arm. "I need him! And I need Alice. I've lost my husband, and my sister."

"I know sweetie," Esme said gently, stroking my hair. Jasper's shouts were dying down, and to me it seemed like the stopper of all hope.

"Mom?" I heard Nessie whisper, and I looked up to see her, Jacob behind her.

"He's gone," I whispered.

"Who's gone?" she whimpered.

"Edward's gone." I moaned. "They took him. And Alice. They're gone." Renesmee moaned and sat down on the floor next to me, curling into my side.

"What do we do?" she sobbed, and I watched the hot tears falling down her face, wishing I could cry, let the pain out.

"I don't know." And I didn't know. I didn't know if Edward and Alice would come back. I didn't know what would happen to them. And I didn't know why Aro was so confident that they would stay.

**Edward POV**

It was a surprise when Volterra had come into view. The run had been a long one, with us having to swim across the Atlantic. If we stopped for more than two seconds, Jane would unleash her gift on us, and both Alice and I would be rolling around in pain. I squeezed her hand, and she returned it, gently. I looked at her. Alice rarely looked this dishevelled. There was dirt in her hair, and all over her clothes, her eyes were blacker than I had ever seen them, and she was drawing in deep rattling breaths.

Everyone was doing there best to disguise their thoughts, but I had heard enough earlier. I couldn't believe they were going to do this to us. I was never going to get back to Bella. But I couldn't have them do this to her. I couldn't be selfish and want her to myself. She had too much to live for, and she had to look after Nessie.

"You know what they're going to do?" I murmured to Alice quietly as we ran. She nodded, and squeezed my hand tighter.

"I don't want this. I want to go home," she whimpered. I had never seen her so afraid, and it made me want to protect her from everything coming.

I seemed to have lost track of all time, because I found myself walking through the darkened square, the one that held so many memories. I saw us heading towards that alleyway, and I hissed.

"There are other ways in! We don't need to go this way!"

"It would be the most… prudent." Caius smirked.

The stone walls seemed to leak Bella from every crack; all I saw was her face, her lips up against mine, her soft, warm skin. I scowled, and dropped down the hole in the ground, Alice following me and then grabbing my hand again. We ran along the dark passageway, Alice sometimes sobbing quietly beside me.

The reception area came too quickly, and the receptionist, Gianna smiled weakly at Alice and me, remembering us. She didn't seem fazed by the huge group of people.

_New members_ I heard her mutter in her head. Felix pushed us past her, so the huge gold doors were all I could see. Alice whimpered a little next to me as they were pushed open, and the huge crowd of us flooded into the antechamber.

A girl sat on the stone steps, tapping her toes against the hard ground.

"Finally!" she sighed. "I'm thirsty, did you bring any food?" Demetri laughed.

"We were a little pre-occupied," He pushed us forwards and she grinned.

"So this is Edward and Alice huh?" she asked, looking us up and down. I looked at her. She was pretty, but there was nothing unremarkable about her, she had blonde hair that fell just past her shoulders, and her eyes were scarlet. Newborn. "You didn't get Bella then?" Aro shook his head.

"She'll come eventually," he said lightly, and I glared at him. "Edward, Alice, this is Anya. She joined us last month. She has a very peculiar gift. I'm guessing you already know what it is?"

"I know the general effect, yes." I kept my voice low, trying to keep the anger from shaking it. Alice clutched at my hand, she was shaking. It wasn't like Alice to be this scared.

"Yes, she causes a loss of memory. We're not sure how long for yet, but we think it may be permanently." He flashed his teeth at me.

"You want me to do it now?" Anya asked Aro quietly.

"I don't think it really makes much difference," he laughed. "They won't remember anyway." Anya grinned, and turned to look at me.

"I love you Bella," I whispered, and as I fell, I heard Alice scream.

**A/N: **

**xD I've had this in my head for a while now, but wanted to finish Note Writing before I started it. Action packed chapter huh? Ugh, it took several drafts to write this, the first couple were generally the same as this, except 1000 words shorter and well… rubbish basically. Well, hope you enjoyed it; I always get worried when writing new stories, and please review! xx**


	2. Waking Up

**Disclaimer: N'awwwh I don't own twilight :( **

2. Waking up

**Edward POV**

New colours swarmed above my eyes, colours I'd never experienced before. The room was bright and clear, clearer than I'd ever seen anything being. Different scents all became apparent to me at one time, although I could still identify every single one. Peppermint, honey, roses, toffee, orange, and a hint of strawberry that lingered, but seemed faint and old. There were bad smells too, stagnant water, and a little sewage, although it smelt like it was a long way away.

I stared at the curtains that enclosed the bed I was laying in. I never remembered being here. I racked my brains to see what I _could _remember. Pain. A lot of pain. And the fire, burning through me, racing through my body. And before that, the illness, the pain that seemed so insignificant compared to the fire. And grief. Loved ones no longer being there. Everything seemed so faint and fuzzy.

I listened hard. Someone was screaming, but they weren't close, and the words merged together so I couldn't figure out what they were saying. And someone singing at the top of their voice. Someone just outside the curtain.

I jumped, and ripped the material out of my way, pulling it from the hangers faster than I would have thought possible. I hissed, and stood up on the mattress, automatically changing into a crouching position. Shocked at my reaction, I stood, frozen. The girl stared at me. She was small, possibly a couple of years younger than me with short mousy brown hair. Her mouth was closed, but she was singing some kind of foreign song. Very loudly.

"Who are you?" I growled, and then put my hand over my mouth. Why was my voice like that? The girl grinned.

"I'm Jane," she told me, whilst still singing. "You're Edward,"

"I know who I am." I snapped. "Will you stop singing please, it's kind of distracting. Not to mention rude." She smirked.

"I'm not singing out loud Edward, you're hearing my thoughts." _God, I hate this stupid explaining stuff. _She muttered on the end.

"I'm… what?" I whispered, ignoring her last comment.

"I may as well start from the beginning," she groaned. "92 years ago, you were bitten, by a vampire called Carlisle Cullen. You were in a hospital in Chicago, yes? Well, when you are bitten by a vampire, you become one. Normally, the transformation process takes two or three days. But you stayed dormant. When Carlisle realised the burden you would be if you never woke up, he tried to kill you. We saved you just before he could. We are still trying to work out why the process took so long… But many vampires have individual gifts. Yours is obviously that you can read minds."

"What's yours?" I asked automatically. It was stupid, considering the list of questions I had to ask.

"I can inflict pain on people," she grinned. I shuddered.

"Isn't that… kind of sick?" I grimaced, thinking of the fire. Had she caused that? She shrugged.

"Maybe, but I didn't choose it," It was hard to hear what she was saying underneath the belting singing, but I tried to block it out as best as I could. I looked down.

"_What_ am I wearing?" I exclaimed, staring down at my clothes. Jane snorted.

"Fashions change Edward. And it's been almost a hundred years. We tried to keep you up to date, because after a while, you really started to look stupid. I scowled. I looked stupid now. Then something clicked. I was 109 years old. I yelled in horror, and ran over to the mirror I saw in the corner. I stared.

I had always had very pale skin, but now it was positively white, and the little scar above my eyebrow that I'd gotten when I'd fallen off my bike and cracked my head open had disappeared. My hair now looked even more bronze, and instead of looking like a dishevelled mess, it actually looked like it was sexy, that it was meant to be that way. My reflection's eyes met my own, and I gasped.

"They're yellow!" I exclaimed. I wanted my emerald green back, but this strange liquid gold colour wasn't bad. I glanced at Jane's eyes. They were a dark red. "Why are yours red?" I asked.

"Yours will gradually turn red as well," she told me. "They're always yellow on a newborn." I shuddered. I didn't really want red eyes; they were always a sign of… evil.

"So… I drink blood," I cringed at the thought. Jane nodded.

"It sounds repulsive, but once you're used to the idea, it's the best part of being what you are," she grinned. I really wasn't sure whether I liked her or not, she seemed a little… sadistic. And that singing was just plain annoying.

The screaming I had heard earlier was becoming louder, it was getting closer. I could make out the words now.

"I'm not crazy!" It was a girl screaming. "He's there, in my mind! All of them are there! I'm not crazy!" Jane scowled.

"I wish she would just shut up," she grumbled. She wasn't really one to talk; the mind singing was doing my head in.

"How come I don't look like an old man?" I questioned over the screaming, which pierced my ears, and made me want to save the girl. She sounded like she was in pain.

"We don't age," she explained, glancing towards the door. The yelling sounded so close now, so I strode over to the door and flung it open. Jane called after me, but I stepped into the hallway.

At the end of the stone tunnel, were four people. Three were men, all in dark cloaks, and they were holding down the girl in the middle. She was tiny, with short dark hair that stuck up in all directions. Her back arched, and her little feet kicked out, but the men didn't release her. Her eyes met mine, and she stared at me for a few seconds. Hers were gold, like mine. She was like me.

"That's him!" she screamed at the men. "That's one of the boys in my visions!" Images flashed through my mind, and I knew they were hers. But they were all of me, the person I saw in the mirror. Me and the girl in front of me, holding hands, looking terrified. A different girl screaming my name, crying and yelling at me, her brown hair hiding her face. Then they disappeared, and the girl lay on the floor, screaming in agony. Through her mind, I could feel her pain, and I yelled out in shock, trying to block it the best I could. I looked behind me, and watched Jane staring at her. I figured out what was happening quickly.

"Don't!" I exclaimed, trying to pull Jane back into the room. "Don't hurt her, she hasn't done anything wrong!" But Jane didn't budge, and the girl continued to cry and shriek, rolling around on the stone floor.

"That's enough Jane," one of the cloaked men said quietly. "I think she's learned her lesson." The girl stopped screeching and she stayed on the floor, shaking slightly. The man who had told Jane to stop walked towards us, pushing us back into the room.

"Help me," I heard the girl plead as she vanished out of sight. _Help me. _Somehow I could differentiate from the words she spoke and the words she thought.

"What are you doing to her?" I yelled at the cloaked man. "Why are you treating her like this? She's just a girl!"

"She's older than you Edward," the man said quietly.

"That doesn't make a difference!" I shouted. I felt like crying, but the tears didn't come, they weren't there.

"I'm Aro," the man told me gently. "That was Alice. We turned her a few days ago. She woke up and didn't remember anything from her past. And it turns out that the pain of the transformation has made her insane. It's rare, but it does happen. But I would advise you to stay away from her Edward. She thinks she can see the future, but the images she sees are dark and violent. She could corrupt you easily, what with your gift."

"How do you know about my gift?" I snapped. Instead of singing, Aro was keeping up a constant stream of what sounded like Italian in his head. I wanted to something in frustration. Were these people never quiet in their minds?

"I have a similar gift to yours Edward. Except stronger in some ways, weaker in others. I can read every thought a person has ever had, except instead of just being able to read a mind, like you, I have to touch them. When I pushed you into the room earlier, I heard your thoughts. I am sorry about the pain; it is the clearest of my human memories. Truly horrible."

"Yet you still let Jane torture that girl," I growled.

"She is evil Edward," Aro snarled. "I've seen every one of her visions, and a lot of them…" he shuddered. "Well, they're best not ever seen again. We're going to keep her here so she is not released on humanity, but you must promise never to go near her. She will make you think she is good, when really, she just wants you to help her."  
"Help her do what?" I asked.

"She wants to destroy every vampire in existence. She thinks the whole race is evil." I frowned. The visions she had shown me were not so horrible. Just a little sad. And it made me wonder who the brown haired girl who had been screaming my name was. Someone knocked on the door.

"Dinner's here," a huge burly vampire grinned, and Aro smiled back.

"Thank you Felix. Jane, you can show Edward how it's done," Jane laughed.

"Time for food!" she giggled, taking me by the hand and leading me out the door. I glanced down the tunnel. Alice was gone.

**Bella POV**

"We have to do something," Emmett whispered, breaking the eerie silence. We were all sitting in the dining room, just with the two empty chairs that nobody wanted to look at. Nessie was next to me, holding my hand tightly and sobbing. Jasper was staring into the distance, mouthing Alice's name over and over. I didn't know what I was doing. It just felt like I wasn't able to exist anymore. Like I couldn't be here without him. Jacob had come around earlier, and I hadn't said a word to him. I hadn't said a word to anyone. I had nothing to say. I was a shell, without my soul.

Everything smelt of him. His honey-lilac-sun flavoured smell, but the faintness of it made me feel like crying the tears which would never come.

"I don't know what we can do…" Carlisle said slowly. "Except wait for them to come back. The Volturi can't forcefully keep them there." I closed my eyes.

"No." I whispered. "They won't come back, not on their own. The Volturi wouldn't have taken them if there was a chance of that. Something's happened. Aro said he could force them to stay. And that it wasn't Chelsea. He's found a stronger force." I shuddered. Renesmee pressed her palm to my face.

_What do we do Mom?_ The question was coloured with sadness and loss.

"I don't know," And it was the not knowing that scared me. Not knowing if Edward and Alice would come back. Not knowing what was happening to them. Not knowing if we would ever see them again.

"We have to go to Volterra," Esme murmured. "There's no other way."

"No!" Rosalie hissed. "We can't lose anyone else in our family," Jasper stood up.

"We can't lose Alice or Edward either!" he yelled. "We have to take the risk,"

"What if we all die Jasper?" her voice was still quiet, but it was shaking with anger. "What if we die trying to save them? I know it's going to be hard, but we have to at least wait and see if they come back. What if we go there and they've already come home. What will we do then?"

"But what if they don't come home?" Renesmee whimpered. I held her hand tightly.

"Then Bella and Jasper can go and get them, rather than sending the whole family there,"

"I'm going!" Emmett exclaimed. "I want to kick some Volturi ass for kidnapping Edward and Alice. And I'll be damned if I leave Bella and Jasper to do it on their own. Two against the whole Volturi guard? That isn't going to work!"

"Seven against the Volturi guard won't work either Emmett!" Rosalie hissed. "We're going to have to get everyone back together again if we want to fight them!"

"Then we will! We'll do what we did last time."

"We'll still be outnumbered!

"Rosalie's right." I interrupted. Everyone stared at me. "Not about the waiting part, they aren't going to come back; otherwise the Volturi would have had no point in taking them. But just Jasper and I should go. It would be far more inconspicuous, and we may be able to get Edward and Alice out without a fight. Plus, I have my shield, and it'll be easier if it's just me and Jasper, I won't have to think about protecting everyone."

"But… Bella, you and Jasper can't do this alone," Esme murmured. "You need our help,"

"We can plan it out before," I told her. "I don't mind staying for another few days. But this is the only way Esme. If Jasper and I could just find a way in there without getting caught, then we would have what we needed. And we could get Edward and Alice out of there."  
"What about me?" Renesmee squeaked, and I looked at her.

"You'll be fine here sweetie," I tried not to let my voice break at the thought that if I died, I would lose her forever. "You have Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme, and Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett. And then I'll bring Dad home with me, and we can be together again." She touched my cheek.

_You will come home right?_

"I'll try," I murmured softly. "I'll try as hard as I can. And if I don't, you know I'll always be here, in your heart." I touched the locket around her neck. "I'll always love you, _plus que ma propre vie._" Her eyes welled up with tears.

"That's what I'm afraid of," she whispered. "That you love Dad and Alice more than your own life," I looked away, because I knew that what she said was totally, and utterly true.

**A/N:**

**Awwwhh, thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter :) There may be some very very long spaces between updates, because even though the holidays are coming up, I'm going to be working my butt off all through them for my exams! But I should get chapter 3 done by the weekend, hopefully :) **


	3. Monster

**Reminder…**

"_Dinner's here," a huge burly vampire grinned, and Aro smiled back. _

"_Thank you Felix. Jane, you can show Edward how it's done," Jane laughed. _

"_Time for food!" she giggled, taking me by the hand and leading me out the door. I glanced down the tunnel. Alice was gone. _

3. Monster

**Edward POV**

"Let your instincts take over," Jane whispered to me as we stepped into the bright, perfectly round room.

"Edward!" a girl called out, skipping towards me. "You're awake! I'm Anya," She held out her hand and I shook it. Her eyes shocked me. They were brighter than the others, pure scarlet instead of the burgundy that stained Jane and Aro's eyes. Her teeth flashed in the light as she smiled at me.

"Heidi's bringing them all in," a man announced as he flung open the heavy looking doors. "I have to say, this lot look particularly tasty," I shuddered.

"Excellent," a white blonde man sitting in one of the chairs hissed, leaning forwards, as if ready to pounce.

"Go for the necks," Anya advised. "That'll be your instinct anyway. It'll be fine."

"I… I don't want to do this…" I stammered. These were people. Real human beings. And although the strange scratchiness I had at the back of my throat seemed to soothe itself at the thought of blood, I was shaking.

"You'll be fine once you start," the white blonde man smiled. "You'll want to eat them. It's the only way to live Edward," It didn't make me feel any better; that I was ending lives to keep mine. "I'm Caius by the way," I nodded at him.

More vampires were sliding into the room now, their eyes dark and mutinous. I felt a hand on my back, and looked up to see Aro behind me.

"I know it seems wrong," he murmured. "But really, you'll come around to it. Anya is quite a new vampire, and she's already used to the practise," Anya smiled at me encouragingly.

I could hear voices getting nearer, a babble of excitement, and thoughts behind the words. I could begin to decipher the words from the thoughts now, although it was difficult with the noise everyone else made in their heads. Jane was still singing, Aro speaking in the liquidy language, in fact, every vampire in the vicinity was making as much noise as they could in their heads. I scrunched up my eyes, trying to concentrate on the thoughts of the coming people. I knew who they were. They were humans.

_This isn't in the tour book… _One man thought. _Where are we? I'm confused, the woman told me we were going to see the St Marcus Day parade… _

_Something's wrong…_ A woman was thinking. Everyone in the group was starting to suspect something. I wondered what story they had been spun to get them to come here.

"I won't do this," I whispered.

"Just follow what I do," Jane reassured. "Once you think about the blood, you won't think of them as humans," That was what I was scared of. That I would forget they were humans. That I wouldn't care any more. I would become a monster.

The room flooded with humans, some of them looking scared, some looking mildly interested. My eyes locked on a dark haired girl of about thirteen, she was holding onto her mothers arm, tugging at her, but the mother shook her off, ignoring her.

_What is this place?_ I heard her whisper in her head. And… I could smell them. Each one was different, but they all smelt delicious. Their pulses echoed around the room disturbing their scent a little.

"Welcome to Volterra!" Aro exclaimed, leaning forwards in his chair. And before anything else could happen, the great doors were barred shut, and the vampires around the room pounced. Everyone seemed to scream simultaneously. And the scent became stronger, wafting into my nostrils. I found myself running into the mob of people, searching for anyone, not caring if they were taken or not. I grabbed a screaming woman, and pulled her close to me. But just before my teeth penetrated her creamy-skinned neck, I stopped. The little girl I had seen earlier was sobbing, spinning around, looking at the chaos around her. Her eyes met mine again, and I watched the tears descend from her pleading eyes. An arm grabbed her's, and she was pulled into the feeding frenzy.

I stood, frozen, shocked, the woman still struggling helplessly in my arms. Everything seemed to slow down. Was I this monster: who fed on humans, or was I Edward: the boy I had been before I had caught the influenza all those years ago. The woman fell from my arms, staring at me, and I ran. I was out of the room in a matter of seconds, which worried for me for a moment, but then I realised this was part of being a vampire. I ran until I didn't even know where I was. Their screams echoed around my head, but nothing was worse than remembering their thoughts. The pleading, the accusations, the sheer terror almost tore me apart inside. Some had screamed goodbyes to loved ones in their heads, some prayed final prayers.

My sprint that sent me down corridors in seconds eventually slowed and I was left wandering the corridors, as the temperature got cooler and cooler, the smell of damp and mould stronger. I shook my head a little. It was strange I was even here. And it felt like something was missing.

I thought of the vampire who had changed me, Carlisle Cullen. Would he have expected me to join this practise? I sighed. He was a vampire. Of course he would have. He had almost killed me, just so I wouldn't lay in a basement asleep for hundreds of years.

I kicked at the floor with my strange, lace-up shoes. They were completely different than anything I would have ever worn, but Jane was right, if fashions changed in a year, they would definitely change over a century. I didn't like this new world, even if I couldn't remember my fuzzy old one that much. I wanted my Mom and Dad back, I wanted to be back at school, I wanted to _be alive._ Except I wasn't. I was a monster.

The tunnels became darker with every step, although I could still see perfectly. The darkness held some kind of strange substance to it now, which was comforting as well as chilling. And… I could hear noise again. More singing. I groaned inwardly, but then realised it was different from the loud, foreign, chanting that most people had spinning through their heads. This was softer and sweeter, and sounded different to the echoing background that came with the thoughts in everyone's head.

The singing became louder with every step, and I soon discovered that there were no lyrics to it, just little _la_ sounds being sung over and over. And soon the thoughts accompanied it, concentrating on the notes, and thinking about the tears that should have pooled on the floor, but weren't coming.

"Edward!" I heard Jane cry, and I span around, she was rushing towards me, and she grabbed my arm, walking in the opposite direction. The singing was drowned out by the loud voice echoing through her head and I winced.

"What are you doing down here?" she asked, walking at an unnatural pace, but it wasn't hard to keep up, not with my new found pace.

"I… I just kept walking. And then I heard the singing…" I glanced behind me, trying to hear the fading notes over Jane's voice,"

"What singing?" she snapped quickly.

"Back there…" I said quietly, wondering why she was so angry. I frowned, and she relaxed a little.

"There's music playing in some rooms," she explained. "You probably just heard that,"

"But someone was thinking…" I whispered, bemused.

"It's nothing," she insisted, but I heard a little swear word break through the song in her head. They were hiding something from me. "What happened back there?" she asked quickly, and all thoughts of the singing were wiped from my mind as I shuddered, remembering the scene.

"I couldn't… I just… They were all real, human," She nodded, like it was obvious. She sighed.

"You'll get used to it," she said in a bored voice. I frowned.

"Edward! Are you okay?" Anya skipped towards us, her scarlet eyes flashing. "It was hard the first time for me as well," she smiled sweetly, but she wasn't as good as concealing her thoughts as the others were. _Not. _She added on the end and I glared at her. She swore in her head, her blonde hair falling around her face as she ducked her head, ashamed at her discovered lie, immediately starting to think of other things, chattering to herself in her head.

"So," she said, once she had regained her thoughts. "Aro's looking for you. He's worried."

"That's why he sent me," Jane hissed. She was obviously competing for Aro's attention with Anya. He seemed like one of their leaders, from the throne like chair he had been sitting in. Anya scowled.

"You have to eat eventually," she pointed out to me. I sighed. I knew she was right. And the humans had smelt so…mouth-watering. But I wasn't sure if I could do it. If everything I had ever been taught, even if it was a little blurred, could be forgotten, just so I could live, whilst everyone around me died.

**Bella POV**

"This isn't fair!" Renesmee whined for the sixth time that day. "I want to come with you! I could help!"

"No!" Jacob and I chorused simultaneously, and she scowled.

"You have to stay here with Jacob," I told her again. "I am _not _losing you as well as Edward."

"Well, what if I lose you?" she hissed. "I don't want to be an orphan! Jacob can come too, he can protect me!" I sighed. Renesmee and I seldom fought, but the Volturi were tearing my family apart. No one spoke to each other any more, not properly. There were polite greetings, and when they failed, everything dissolved into anger.

"Nessie…" I dropped my voice. "I'm going to try _everything _to get back to you. But I can't have you there. If Jacob looked away for one second, if he was pre-occupied with fighting someone, they would kill you. And if we're going to try and do this making the least amount of fuss possible, then we can't have many people." Her eyes filled with sparkling tears and she brushed them away fiercely with her fingers. She looked down at her feet.

"I _can't _let you die," her voice was shaking, and I leant forward, enveloping her in my arms, feeling her warmth comfort and soothe me.

I could feel the sadness and grief emanating from Jasper as he trudged into the room. He collapsed onto the couch, his eyebrows knitted together.

"How are we going to do this?" he whispered to himself, and I could see his planning, possibilities flashing across his eyes.

"We can't make a huge entrance," I said quietly, adding to his silent musings. "That's what they'd be waiting for. We have to sneak in… somehow."

"But they have guards at every entrance," he said slowly. Renesmee snuggled closer to my chest and wove her arms around me, closing her eyes. She could still fall asleep just about anywhere. I stroked her face, watching her drift into dreams.

"I'm scared Jasper," my voice cracked, and Jacob reached over to put his hand on top of mine. I closed my eyes. My life had been so perfect. I should have known that happily ever after just didn't exist for me.

"We're going to have to wait until they come out," Jasper said, still planning our attack. "They can't keep Edward and Alice inside the whole time. I think they'd take them outside at some point. We can get them then,"

"What if they don't come outside?" I asked quietly. He closed his eyes.

"We'll think of something," he said quietly, lifting himself out of his chair and walking quickly out of the room. Even Jasper couldn't make people happy anymore.

"I'm going to take her home," I said quickly to Jacob, gesturing to the sleeping girl in my arms and tried to get out of the house as quickly as I could. I passed Esme, who was sitting staring into the distance, Carlisle's arm around her shoulder. Emmett waved the tiniest wave possible at me as I walked past, and Rosalie tried to smile. Once I was through the door, I ran towards the house as quickly as possible-so that I was in Renesmee's bedroom in seconds. I set her down in the bed, kissed her forehead and walked back into the living room. I bit my lip.

My house held no life, no character without Edward. Even though it was so small, it seemed huge, the space stretched out before me like it would never end. I walked over to the grand piano that took up most of the room and sat down at it, carefully placing my fingers over the notes. Edward had begun to teach me the basics of piano just before he had left-seeing as I had forgotten the little I had learnt when I was a child. I slowly stumbled over the C Major arpeggio he had taught me, closing my eyes and pretending that he was playing for me, although he would have actually been able to play.

I brought my arms down onto the keys so that they all played their notes together, merging to make an ugly sound. I put my head down on them, closing my eyes. It would have been so much easier if I could just cry- one tear to let out my pain. But instead it was all locked away, and even though I was sobbing strange, tearless sobs, it didn't work the way a good crying jag could.

"Mom?" I head Renesmee whimper, and listened to her feet patter towards me, sliding onto the piano stool and snaking her arm over my shoulders. "Mom, it's okay…" I shook my head, and she stayed silent, rubbing circles on my back. The role was reversed, but for now I didn't care. I needed someone to tell me that everything would be fine, that I could do it. Because I wasn't sure that I could.

**A/N:**

**I know I said I'd have this done by the weekend, but I forgot it was Easter, which meant that I had to have a "family" day yesterday and didn't get to finish this off! I also know it's not the best, so sorry :\ I thought I'd add a reminder in, and I know it wasn't the end of the last chapter, but the beginning of this one kind of leads off it! Don't worry, Alice will be back very soon :) I've got quite a busy week, I'm trying to fit social stuff around studying for exams so I don't know quite when I'll update, but it'll be ASAP! **


	4. Discoveries

**Reminder…**

"_Mom?" I head Renesmee whimper, and listened to her feet patter towards me, sliding onto the piano stool and snaking her arm over my shoulders. "Mom, it's okay…" I shook my head, and she stayed silent, rubbing circles on my back. The role was reversed, but for now I didn't care. I needed someone to tell me that everything would be fine, that I could do it. Because I wasn't sure that I could. _

4. Discoveries

**Bella POV**

I wasn't really in the mood for hunting, even though my throat was scratchy and sore and my eyes were fading into black. I scanned the landscape impatiently, searching for something that looked edible. The sun setting had turned the sky into fifty different shades of orange and red, each one incredibly clear and easy to pick out.

I closed my eyes, picking out faint noises, heartbeats. I could hear some elk nearby, but my nose wrinkled, I needed mountain lion. I soon realised it wasn't because of the taste, or smell. It was because it was _his _favourite. I needed to hold on to the parts of him I had left. I groaned in frustration, running further into the woods.

I had chosen to hunt alone, mostly because I wanted to just let instincts take over, and not have to make conversation. But there was this tiny amount of hope inside me that thought that maybe Edward could be running through the woods right now to get home, our paths would cross, and everything could be okay again. And I was scared that if he did get home, nobody would be there, and he would think we had left him. So I always wanted someone at the house.

I screamed in frustration, kicking a rock that lay in my path so that it broke into tiny pieces and dispersed across the forest floor. I knew it wasn't going to happen. But the little shards of hope that were nestled in corners of my mind suggested otherwise, and realising these were false broke my heart just like the rock.

I managed to detect the deep, pumping, pulse of a mountain lion, and I raced towards it. I froze to a halt at the edge of a clearing, watching it prowl across my vision. It looked the opposite direction to me for a second, and I took my chance. I jumped, attacking for its throat. I was experienced at hunting now, and it didn't get a chance to put up much of a fight. The blood was warm and comforting, and I drank until I couldn't drink any more. The discarded carcass at my side, I wiped the hairs off my black jeans and stood up, looking around me. I gasped; my hand flying to my mouth.

It was _our _meadow. I hadn't even realised I was coming this way, although I had the route memorised by heart now. The wildflowers brushed against my feet, purples and blues and oranges. I closed my eyes and smelt the soft, familiar scent of it, carried in the gentle breeze that blew my hair across my face.

"Edward," I murmured, and the wind answered back, whispering its own language in my ear. "I love you," I told him, although I knew there was no way he could hear me. Then my knees gave way, and I curled up next to the lion, blood splattered down my top. I wished I could fall asleep, fall out of consciousness or something. I couldn't. So I just let myself float away from the meadow, into my mind, so that all I was thinking about were our memories.

***

I was pulled out of my daze by hot, sweaty fingers touching my neck.

"Oh, there's no pulse!" they cried. "She's dead!" I blinked, and sat up, looking around. Two backpackers stared at me- a man and a woman- their mouths open. "But… But there was no pulse!" the woman protested.

"Um, maybe you just couldn't find it," I offered quietly, standing up and brushing myself down.

"But the mountain lion…" the man gestured to the lion laying next to me. I shrugged.

"I found it lying there," I told him. "I'm not good with blood, I must have fainted." They looked at me, confused, and I walked quickly towards the edge of the meadow.

"Wait! How are you getting back? You don't have a map!" they called after me, but I ignored them, my eyes tightly shut, my feet carrying me mindlessly through the trees.

"She was freezing cold," I heard the woman mutter, and I grimaced. I was stupid for zoning out. I should have remembered that anyone could find me there; it wasn't my private place, however much it held my memories. But I couldn't take it, everything rushing back to me. Every time we'd been there, every single touch of his that I'd felt. I started to run now that I was far away enough from the humans, rushing through the trees to get home.

"Bella!" Esme exclaimed when I rushed through the door, and Renesmee skipped up to me. "You took a long time! Did you go far?" I shook my head, and Esme's expression morphed into a pitying one when she saw the sadness in my eyes. "Bella?" she asked again, walking forwards and pulling me into her arms. I buried my face in her shoulder.

"I found our meadow," I whispered, and she sighed into my hair, holding me tighter.

"I miss him too," she said gently. "And Alice. But we'll get them back Bells. You know we will,"

"I'm scared," I sobbed, tears refusing to come to my eyes. "I'm scared they'll be dead, or I'll get killed and Renesmee will be alone, or the Volturi will come back here and attack you whilst Jasper and I are away, and you won't see it coming, because Alice is gone. Everything could change in a second."

"They won't have killed Edward or Alice," she said with certainty. "Then there wouldn't be a point of taking them in the first place. As for you, Edward would do anything he could to protect you. And even if you did die, Nessie wouldn't be alone! We all adore her, it's not like we would let her starve!" Renesmee beamed at that. "And we'll be fine here. I promise," I sobbed into her shoulder, and she rubbed circles on my back. "You worry too much about other people Bella," she muttered.

"Can we sleep here tonight Mom?" Nessie asked. "Rosie said that I could have a midnight feast, and that she got some blood, and candy!" I nodded, and she grinned. "Emmett! I can play grand theft auto now!" she yelled.

"No!" I said sternly, sliding out of Esme's grip. "I'm not letting you play that game!" She pouted, and Emmett was next to her in a flash, pulling his puppy dog eyes at me. "No!" I repeated. "It's rated R! You're three!"

"Ten," they both chorused.

"Exactly! Too young for R rated games!"

"You're such a party pooper Bella! We're vampires, it's not like she hasn't seen the blood!" Emmett whined. "Come on Ness, let's play Call of Duty instead!"

"No!" I called after them. "That's just as bad!" Nessie just giggled. I groaned. Esme smiled at me, reaching her hand out to my cheek.

"We'll all miss you Bella. But I know you'll be just fine," she reassured me.

"You will look after her," I asked quietly. "If I don't make it back,"

"Of course!" she exclaimed. "Now you better go and stop Emmett, he'll make her have nightmares again."

**Edward POV**

I checked no one was following me as I edged through the dark tunnels. The voice I had heard had been annoying me for days, I desperately wanted to know who it was coming from.

The corridors were longer than I remembered. I could have run, but I was a little hesitant of what lay ahead, what everyone was doing their best to hide from me. Because I had worked out why they were always preoccupying their minds. They were keeping something from me.

My footsteps echoed around me each time they hit the cold floor, and it made me jumpy. I was making so much noise that anyone could hear me, and come after me. I slipped my shoes off, feeling the damp floor quickly saturate my socks.

It wasn't just the singing that had been filling my mind. The smell of strawberries lingered on the clothes I had woken up in, and I was desperately trying to find the source. I hadn't smelt it anywhere here, and was wondering where it had come from. The scent was days old, but it had become an obsession along with the singing. It smelt good against my honey and lilac smell; they existed side by side, completely different, but working perfectly together.

I jumped when I heard it. The faint music that had haunted the last three days. I started walking a little faster, desperate to find the source of it. It was more humming this time, sad and sweet. I got closer and closer, listening at each turn to check I was going the right way.

My shoes fell out of my hands with a clatter. I swore loudly, and the singing broke off.

_Who is it?_ The girl thought. I saw the room in her head, stone, with no furnishings, and a wooden door. I started to run, the walls rushing past me, until I could hear the girl's unsteady breaths as if they were next to my ear. I edged around the corner, and saw that the whole corridor was lined with thick wooden doors, each with bars over the window, just like an old prison. I frowned. Surely a vampire couldn't be kept in a place like this? They could break out. But I couldn't smell blood…

I crept towards the first door, and peeked through the bars. A pair of dark eyes flashed up to meet mine, and then like a flash of lightning, she was on the other side of the door. Alice. The girl who had been having the visions.

"Edward!" she whispered to herself, pushing her fingers through the bars. I took a step back, and she rolled her eyes. "I'm Alice," she told me. She was silent for a minute, just staring at me through the bars, her little hands gripped tightly around the metal. She cocked her head to one side, narrowing her eyes as if to see me better. She sighed. "Who are you?" she asked. "I mean, I know who you are, but who are you to me? You're in most of my visions, you and the girl. You're not in the ones with…" she cut off, still examining me with her eyes. "I don't know why I'm here," she told me. "I have no past, no present. Only my future. I woke up, and… I could see the things they were going to do. And I could see you, and the girl, Bella, and Jasper. You love her. Who is she?"

"Bella? I don't know her. I don't know anyone called Bella." I replied, and she frowned.

"But you're always with her," she said, confused. I could see images playing over in her head, pictures of me, a girl with chocolate brown hair and amber eyes that matched mine clinging onto my arm. She groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"You see visions?" I asked her. She nodded.

"I don't think they're _all_ real," she whispered. "The outcomes of things keep changing. I don't know which ones to believe. And you. You change your mind a lot Edward, your outcomes keep changing. Do you have a gift?"

"I read minds," I told her. She grinned.

_Really? _She asked.

"Really," I replied wearily. I looked around. "You're a vampire right. Surely you can just break out of here," She shrugged.

"Of course I could. But the only exit I can take from here goes straight through the main hall. Plus, I have no idea of the way out. I'd be wandering the tunnels until they found me. And they've made it very clear what will happen if they found I've got out," she shuddered. "I thought you'd know why I was having visions of you," she said quietly.

"They said you were evil," I told her, still not going too near her. She snorted.

"Really?" She laughed. "They told you I was evil? Sorry Edward, you're going to have to make up your own mind on that one. But the only evil things I've seen are other people's plans." I could see the anger in her eyes behind the smile.

"Who's Jasper?" I asked, and her expression softened, turned dreamlike.

"My boyfriend," she told me. "Kind of. He doesn't know it yet." It was my turn to snort, and she glared at me. "I can see the future, I know it's going to happen," she hissed.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"You have a lot of questions," she snapped, but she sighed and relaxed. "I don't know. I woke up, told them I was seeing this stuff, and they took me down here. I completely regret telling them of course, I should have seen _that. _Now, that Aro guy, he comes down and he'll grab my hand, grin and then leave me here again."

"Aro can read every thought you've had through touch," I explained. "That's why he touches your hand." She made a face and shuddered.

"You sing," I said slowly. She shrugged again.

"I get bored," she said matter-of-factly. Her face dropped. "They're not feeding me," she whispered. "They told me they're going to let me get weak, until I can't do anything but give them the visions," I could see the truth of what she was saying in her thoughts and I bit my lip.

"I'd better go," I told her, my voice shaking, and she nodded.

"Come back," she pleaded. "Don't forget about me!"

"I won't," I promised, and I began to make my way back up to the people who had taken me in. Things were getting creepy, and I wasn't sure who to trust.

**A/N:**

**This was meant to be for Saturday, but I didn't get it finished and was away Sunday and Monday! So here it is, a couple of days late! I'm really really busy for the last days of the holidays, so not sure when the next chapters going to be :/ The little reminder thing is gonna be a permanent fixture I think, it means you don't have to flick back after long updates!**


	5. Turning Point

_Reminder…_

_They're not feeding me," she whispered. "They told me they're going to let me get weak, until I can't do anything but give them the visions," I could see the truth of what she was saying in her thoughts and I bit my lip. _

_ "I'd better go," I told her, my voice shaking, and she nodded. _

_ "Come back," she pleaded. "Don't forget about me!" _

_ "I won't," I promised, and I began to make my way back up to the people who had taken me in. Things were getting creepy, and I wasn't sure who to trust. _

5. Turning Point

**Edward POV**

"Edward?" Anya asked quietly. My head shot up. She was leant against the door frame of my room, her hands fidgeting with each other, her eyes clouded with confusion. "Where did you go? I've been looking for you for the past hour," I shrugged.

"I was looking around; I hadn't really had a chance to see the whole place yet," I explained, hoping she wouldn't see the lies etched across my face. But she just nodded, frowning. "Are you okay?" I asked, and she bit her lip, looking at the floor.

"Yes," she whispered, so quiet that I almost didn't hear it above the chatter in her head. She sighed, and was across the room in an instant, collapsing in one of the armchairs. "Have you ever done something, that you knew was wrong, but you did it anyway, just to belong?" she questioned, her scarlet eyes sad. I tried to think back to my human days. Everything was fuzzy and unclear, I couldn't decipher particular events.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "Maybe," She nodded, staring at the hands that were clasped in her lap.

"I can't remember much of my human life," she told me. "I was a good girl though. I'm only sixteen, did you know that? I got good grades in school, I babysat for my little sister, and I did all my chores with no complaints. I had a boyfriend. I miss him." Her bottom lip wobbled, but there were no traces of tears in her ruby red eyes. "People always seemed to forget things around me. My Mom always forgot her keys; my sister would trail off mid-sentence, and my Dad once left me in a shopping mall when I was two. On my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend took me out on a date. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, he asked me who I was, and why I was sitting on his table. I was so upset that I left straight away, and walked home. My Mom screamed when she saw me and asked what I was doing in the house. My Dad told me to get out, and my sister burst into tears. By this time I was terrified. I ran to my best friend's house, but she had no idea who I was either. They had all forgotten about me. They didn't have a clue who I was. I lived on the streets for six months before the Volturi changed me. It's my strongest human memory, my sixteenth birthday." She started to sob, long keening cries, with no tears. I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me.

"It's okay, you're fine now," I soothed, and she pulled away, looking at my face.

"I'm a bad person Edward," she murmured. "But I don't mean to hurt people. I have nowhere else. And people care about me here."

"You're not bad," I insisted. "You and everyone else have helped me so much here," She snorted, and then looked away.

"I have to go," she whispered, and rushed out of the room. I stared after her. What had that been about? Things were getting stranger and stranger, and I had no clue why.

"Edward!" Alec cried as he walked in the room, Jane following him. "We've been looking for you! Heidi's bringing some more food in, she's gone all the way to Siena." I gulped. My mind danced at the thought of blood trickling down my scratchy throat, but my heart protested and tried to stop me. But I knew it was the only way. I had to do it. I was becoming more and more ill tempered, my eyes were pitch black now, and my throat was in agony.

"Just try it Edward," Jane pleaded. "You'll love it," I nodded slowly, and she grinned. "Let's go!" she sang, grabbing my hand. "Heidi will be back in half an hour. I want to show you something first," Alec chuckled. "You haven't seen yourself in the sun yet, have you?" she asked. I shook my head, bemused.

She dragged me along, almost jumping with excitement, her joy contrasting with Anya's previous grief. We walked up stairs and got higher and higher, until Jane held her arm out and I stopped. The ceiling of the room we were in was extremely low- I had to bend down- and she began to feel it, until she cried in triumph, throwing open a trap door.

"This is the only room above ground level," she told me, her burgundy eyes sparkling. "The light comes in here. We look… different in the sunlight." She climbed up, and called for me to follow her. I obeyed, and I relished in the fact that I could stand upright once we got into the spacious room. Light flooded in through the windows, and out of them was a green lawn, covered in beautiful flowers. Jane laughed, and I looked around to face her. I gasped.

Her skin looked amazing. It was if thousands of tiny diamonds had been pressed into it. They each caught the light and sent it flying in different directions, casting shapes up the walls. I looked down at my own hands, and gave a little startled laugh. My skin was exactly the same. It was… beautiful. My hand flew to my mouth, and I laughed again. I could feel the sunlight better with this skin, I could even taste it, the golden beams tickled my tongue, warming it. Specks of dust flew around the room, shining in the light, and scattering at any movement made. I held my hand in front of me, watching it sparkle and shine.

"It's amazing, right?" Jane giggled. I nodded, awestruck. "It means we can't go outside in the day- it would be too obvious that we weren't human. Probably where the 'they only wake at night' rumours come from. Well… we can go out on grey or rainy days."

"Wow…" I whispered, staring at my reflection in the window. I smiled.

"Come on, you can look some more later," Jane giggled. "Dinner's here in five minutes!" She was back through the trap door in a flash, and I followed her.

"I've got to do this, it's not that hard," I muttered to myself over and over, but inside I felt sick. I was about to drink blood from a human being. I shuddered.

Everybody was in the cavernous room, waiting. I nodded at Aro, Caius and Marcus, and went to stand next to Anya, Jane moving next to Alec.

"How are you?" I asked.

"A little better," she whispered. "I just got a little upset. I've not had an easy past," I looked around in time to see Caius glaring at her, and I watched her head drop. Something was wrong.

"I'm here if you want to talk," I told her.

"Thank you," she breathed, so quietly that only I could hear.

"They're coming!" Demetri announced. I didn't even want to listen to their thoughts. I blocked them out as best as possible, even trying to not listen to their footsteps that banged through the corridors. I closed my eyes as the doors opened and shut. There wasn't even a welcome this time. I just felt everyone around me pounce, and I shamefully joined them.

I listened for individual pulses, the hunter in me blocking out their thoughts. I drifted, letting my instincts take me- just like I had been advised all those days ago. And finally, my body collided with soft, warm, human flesh. I didn't care anymore that this human was a person. Their throbbing heartbeat echoed around me, so that all I could think about was blood, circling around their body. I opened my eyes carefully, and saw that the human was a woman. She struggled in my arms. I barely felt her complaints; I didn't look at her face. I just sunk my teeth into her neck.

The hot, thick, blood coated my throat, soothing it. It was sweet with a hint of saltiness, better than any food I'd ever tasted. The woman clawed at my neck and kicked at my legs, but I didn't stop. And eventually her struggles weakened, and she went limp in my arms, so I was free to just drink her blood. It swirled around my mouth and I moaned. Eventually there was nothing left to drink, and I discarded the body. I looked around me, a dozen or so corpses littered the floor. Jane grinned at me from across the room, skipping over.

"You did it!" she crowed.

"Thatwas the best thing I have _ever_ tasted," I laughed, but I felt a tiny pang of guilt flare up inside me. What had I just done? I looked up, and smiled at Anya, but all she did was bite her lip and turn away. And I could have sworn I saw sadness flash across her red eyes.

**Bella POV**

I pushed another pair of jeans into my backpack, and turned around, looking at the house I was about to leave behind. It still felt empty without Edward; I hadn't looked at it properly since the day at the piano. One wall of the bedroom was devoted to Edward's CDs and records, another to the huge doors that led to the closet that Alice used to constantly add more clothes to. My battered classics were piled up in a bookshelf in the corner, and the rest of the room was taken up by the huge bed that dominated the space. I smiled reminiscently at the thought of how many new headboards we'd had to buy.

I walked slowly into the living room, a small fire was crackling in the fireplace, and on the mantelpiece above it were several photos, some of me, Edward, and Nessie, some of the whole family, a couple with Charlie in them and the picture of Jacob and Renesmee that I had leant to all that time ago.

Edward's piano took up a lot of the small room, and drawings that were far too advanced for a three year old (or even a ten year old) were scattered over the mahogany dining table. A laptop was on a desk in the corner of the room, and next to it were several Wikipedia pages on wet, rainy US towns that had been printed out- we weren't going to stay in Forks for much longer.

I tiptoed into Renesmee's room and watched her sleeping, her chest lifting up and down and a half smile on her beautiful face. I bent down and touched her hand to my cheek, watching dreams flash across her mind, colours and shapes, and people I knew.

"I'll miss you baby," I whispered, stroking her cheek. I was leaving in the morning. I was so scared, anything could go wrong. But I was going to see Edward again, and right now, that was exactly what I needed.

The sun rising over the horizon turned the sky a lilac-blue colour, and I watched it rise, bringing the new day with it. Renesmee stirred and her eyes fluttered open. She stared at me, tears starting to roll down her face.

"I don't want you to go," she whimpered, reaching her arms up and pulling me too her. "I don't want to lose you as well as Dad,"

"Shush baby," I whispered, pulling her gently out of bed and sliding her onto my lap. She sobbed into my shirt, and I rocked backand forth, stroking her hair. "Come on sweetheart, it's time for me to go," I murmured, and she nodded, wiping the tears off her face. I slung my backpack over my shoulder, she clung to my hand and together we walked to the house.

Everyone was waiting for us, eyes sad as I tried to pry Renesmee from me.

"I love you," she stammered through her tears.

"I love you too," my voice was thick and quivering. "Be good for me. No R rated video games, and help out Grandma Esme okay?" She nodded, tears pouring from the eyes that used to be mine. "I'll be back with Dad, and Alice. I need you to be strong for me." I gathered her up in my arms and I kissed both her cheeks. I walked over to Jacob, holding her as tightly as I could without hurting her. "I'll miss you baby," I whispered in her ear, and then I put her down carefully in front of Jacob. She clung onto his arm, crying into his sleeve. He knelt down and hugged her. "Look after her for me Jake," I pleaded, and he looked at me as if to say _Of course. _I picked up his hand and squeezed it, and he twirled me into a one armed hug. I waved goodbye to him, stroking Nessie's tear stained cheek.

"Bye Bells," Emmett said sadly, pulling me into a huge bear hug. "We'll all miss you." Rosalie stepped forward to hug me, and she squeezed my arm before she stepped out of it.

"Call us if you need help," Carlisle told me quietly, wrapping his arms around me. Esme was last, shaking with the tearless sobs she was crying.

"Be careful," she cried. "And bring them back. I know you can do it," I nodded, and went to stand next to Jasper.

"Goodbye," I said to my family, wishing that I could cry; that I could show them how much I was going to miss them. I turned my back on them, took a deep breath, and took my first step towards Volterra.

**A/N:**

**YEAH. Two day update :) Edward ate a human D: And you got Anya's story. I'm actually so surprised I managed to do this today, I was out all of yesterday, and was up pretty late last night because I was sleeping round a friend's house but today I just wrote and wrote and wrote. Yeah I should have been studying, but I'll do that tomorrow lol. The easter holidays are over in three days! NOO! I might go on hiatus from 18****th**** May to 16****th**** June, because I have exams over that period, just warning you. But then I have an extra long summer to write lots of chapters :) **


	6. Darker Corners

_Reminder…_

"_Call us if you need help," Carlisle told me quietly, wrapping his arms around me. Esme was last, shaking with the tearless sobs she was crying. _

_ "Be careful," she cried. "And bring them back. I know you can do it," I nodded, and went to stand next to Jasper. _

_ "Goodbye," I said to my family, wishing that I could cry; that I could show them how much I was going to miss them. I turned my back on them, took a deep breath, and took my first step towards Volterra. _

Darker Corners

**Edward POV**

What had I done? I paced back and forth in my room, pinching the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb. I had… I had just drunk blood. From a human. I swore, and collapsed onto the bed I had no need for. It had been the worst thing I had ever done. But then again, it had also been the best. I was a monster already; surely vampires went to hell anyway? Would killing people make any difference?

_It would make you a better person if you didn't. _A little voice argued back in my head, but I ignored it.

"Edward?" I heard Anya ask quietly, and I groaned.

"Go away!" I snapped. "I'm not in the mood to comfort anyone right now," I turned in time to see her lip wobble, and watch her storm out of the room. I threw the deep red quilt over my head in frustration.

"Edward!" Jane sang, skipping in and pulling the blanket away from me. "I knew you could do it eventually! It tastes good right?"

"Very good," I agreed reluctantly, and she grinned, her eyes sparkling.

"It's the only way," she told me, seeming to sense my guilt. "You shouldn't feel bad. It's who you are Edward." I shuddered.

"We should go out to hunt one day," she said, almost to herself. "We can't hunt here, but we're allowed to go to some of the neighboring towns if we want." I mumbled something, not committing myself to anything. She raised her eyebrows. She was still singing loudly in her head.

"Would you stop with the singing already?" I groaned. She frowned, and stopped just for enough time to snap in her head:

_Jeez Edward, you don't have to be such a jerk. I saw what you just did to Anya. We're only trying to help you. _Then she was singing again, and she stormed off. I glared after her, and then got to my feet, stomping out of the room.

I checked behind me, and then ran to the entrance of the tunnels, trying to be as quiet as possible. I sped through them- my new mind remembered the way perfectly now.

Her eyes flashed up to meet mine as soon as I peered through the bars.

"I saw you were coming," she grinned. "Are you getting me out of here? Are we going home?"

"This is home, Alice," I growled. "So stop trying to pretend it isn't." She frowned, hurt.

I paced in front of her prison cell, my head in my hands. "What's the matter?" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing," I spat. I didn't need Alice judging me.

"I know you drank blood," she whispered quietly. I span around to face her.

"How?" I hissed. She tapped her head.

"I'm a psychic remember," she frowned. "Was it worth it?" she asked.

"Was it worth what?" I asked, confused.

"Their acceptance. You drank blood, you get their acceptance. Don't look at me like that Edward; I know it wasn't for any other reason. You're not the kind of person who would kill a human because you were thirsty,"

"You don't know anything about me," I yelled.

"I know more about you than you know about yourself," she wasn't shouting, but her eyes had narrowed into slits. "Drinking human blood isn't the only way, Edward,"

"You don't know anything about this life; all you do is sit in this room, thinking that you know everything that goes on! Well maybe you are crazy, Alice." She stared at me in shock.

"Why did you come down here Edward?" she hissed. "To insult me? Because I'm not just someone you can take all your anger out on. I'm a person, even if they're not treating me like one here. Get out of here. And if you're going to behave like that, don't come back. I'd rather have no company than you being like this,"

"I don't take your orders," I laughed coldly, and she shook her head, biting her lip.

"I didn't think this would happen," her voice was wobbling. "I didn't think you'd become one of them. I just didn't see it,"

"You don't see a lot of stuff Alice," I scowled.

"What the hell does that mean?" she was shouting now, and she waved her arms around in anger. "They're looking for us Edward, and when they get here, you're not going to be there for them to find. She _loves _you. I can tell. So please, don't lose yourself yet. Be patient."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I threw her a scathing glance and stomped off. I thought she would have been understanding, would have got why this happened. Instead she just judged me, acting like _I _was in the wrong,

I thought of Aro's accusation that she was evil. Maybe he was right. She _was _trying to turn me against the Volturi and everything that it stood for. And she was also turning me against myself. I was still the same person. She shouldn't make me believe I wasn't. One thing I knew, I wasn't going down to see her again.

Everyone had got angry with me, and all I had done was what they wanted me to. Jane flounced over to me when I got back.

"Apologize," she ordered.

"I'm sorry," I grumbled.

"Not to me," she snapped. "Yes you were a jerk, but I can get over it. Go apologize to Anya. She was just trying to help. Everyone is. It's time you stopped being so ungrateful Edward," I glared at her, and left her smiling satisfactorily behind me.

"Anya," I called quietly. She turned around quickly to face me. "I'm really sorry," I said quietly. "I was angry, and I took it all out on you. I didn't mean it," She smiled a little, and nodded.

"It's okay," she replied. "I shouldn't have come so soon. I should have known the whole experience would have affected you." I grinned, and hugged her.

"Thanks Anya," I whispered into her ear. "For everything." She sighed, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aro smirk. But I didn't have time to work out what it meant.

**Bella POV**

Volterra seemed different to when I was last here. Not only were the streets empty in the moonlight, but it seemed to hold a certain spookiness that made me shudder. Jasper's eyes watched the stone town carefully as if he expected an attack any minute. I touched his arm.

"It's okay, they won't know we're here," I whispered quietly. "Not yet,"

"What if they got it out of Alice?" he asked fearfully. "You know Aro can read minds," I bit my lip.

"We should find a place to stay," I suggested, trying to change the subject. "We can't just lurk around the town all night. It will look even more suspicious." He nodded quietly, and linked arms with me.

Stone buildings I had ignored all those years ago were so tall and terrifying now, stretching above me, their windows peering down on us. I could hear loud music in a house somewhere, but otherwise everything was completely silent. I wasn't sure how we were going to get anywhere to stay this late, but I hoped it was possible. Sure, we didn't sleep, but I didn't really want to stay outside for much longer.

We soon came to a building that had a sign outside saying: _Hotel San Marcus. _I snorted. I didn't know any Italian, but I knew enough about the town's history that _San Marcus _meant Saint Marcus. Jasper knocked quietly on the door, and we waited. Nothing happened. He knocked again.

"Sto arrivando!" someone yelled, and I looked at him, confused. A huge woman opened the door, and she glared at us. Her long grey hair trailed down the back of her nightgown and her feet were bare. She scowled, and said something that I couldn't decipher. Jasper replied in fluent Italian, and she calmed down. I knew exactly why. I couldn't understand a word they were saying, but there was a lot of nodding, and finally she let us in.

"I hope you have good holiday," she called after us in a heavily accented voice and I smiled thankfully at her. "You are beautiful couple," I gasped, and stared at Jasper indignantly. He shrugged.

"Couple?" I repeated after we had closed the door to our room. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"I had to give her _some _kind of sob story! We're on our way to see your sister in Rome who's very ill, and you desperately want her 'blessing' for you to marry me before she dies," I made a face. "I just thought of it on the spot! It's not my fault," I shrugged my backpack off my back and dumped it onto the bed.

"I wish it was as easy as them just being here and taking them home," I grumbled. Jasper nodded in agreement. I stared out the window at the star-studded, midnight blue blanket of sky and I sighed. I wondered if Alice had seen us coming. And if she had, whether Aro had seen that vision.

I slid onto the window seat and threw open the glass, letting the cool air hit my face. I breathed in, and somehow, could still smell his bright, lilac and honey scent, although I was sure it was my imagination most of the time. I inhaled deeper. It was definitely there, the soft familiar scent that I had been missing so much. I transferred my weight onto my knees and leant out of the window, looking around frantically. The streets were still empty. I closed my eyes, and whimpered. Little parts of him were everywhere, imprinted in my mind.

But suddenly the silence was punctuated by voices, and my head snapped up, looking around again. Jasper rushed to join me at the window, he leant out as well. The voices were far away, and hushed, but they were there. And as they got closer, I could identify one of them.

"It's Edward!" I was smiling broadly, and Jasper gave a little startled laugh. I didn't care who could see me, I slid out of the window and dropped to the floor two storeys below. Jasper was right behind me, and I jumped up and down a little on the floor, excited. I could hear the words now.

"We're not allowed to hunt in the town, it would be too suspicious," a girl said quietly. It wasn't Alice, and I didn't recognize the voice. I didn't listen to her words; I just followed them, sliding through the narrow roads as surreptitiously as possible, Jasper behind me. It only sounded like he was with the one girl, and three against one was easy. Then we would go and find Alice, Edward would tell us where she was.

As soon as I saw a flash of his bronze hair I grinned, clamping my hand over my mouth so I didn't scream in excitement. Jasper squeezed my hand, and I couldn't take it any longer. The girl he was with was small, and Jasper could handle her while I got Edward.

I was next to him in seconds, and I threw my arms around his neck, shrieking his name. What I wasn't prepared for was his reaction. He yelped in horror, and pushed me back so that I flew through the air, Jasper catching me. I stared.

"E…Edward?" I stammered. The girl next to him looked terrified, her scarlet eyes flicked between me and Jasper. She was newborn. I had never seen her before, she was young, maybe a little younger than Edward, and had long blonde hair that curled a little at the bottom.

"Yes," he said slowly. "Who are you?"

"Edward, stop messing around," I stuttered. He just frowned. My hand flew to my mouth and Jasper swore. "What did you do to him?" I shrieked at the girl. "What the hell did you do to him?" She bit her lip.

"Let's go Edward," her voice was shaking, and she touched his arm.

"Don't touch him, bitch!" I screamed, completely out of control. "He's married!" I flew at her, trying to hurt every part of her I could. But she was stronger than me, and rolled over, pinning me to the floor. Jasper and Edward both grabbed her arms and pulled her off me.

"I don't know who you are," Edward snapped angrily. "But I think you should go," Jasper took hold of my hand and I clung to it as hard as I could.

"Edward, you don't remember us at all?" he asked. He shook his head, and I could feel the sobs building up in my throat. "Where's Alice, Edward? Where is she?" He was becoming frantic now.

"Alice is getting what she deserves," he spat, and my eyes widened.

"What's _happened _to you?" I was sobbing now, painful, tearless, sobs that rose out of my chest.

"Just get out of here," he hissed, and I took a step back, shaking my head.

"No!" I whispered. "No, this can't be happening. Edward, I love you. Nessie's at home waiting for us with everyone else. You remember Renesmee don't you? Don't you?"

"I don't have time for this," he snapped, and turned on his heel.

"NO!" I shrieked. "Don't go! Edward!" I ran forwards and grabbed his arm, but he shook me off, pushing me away again.

"I don't know who you are, but you obviously have me confused with someone else," he growled. "Now get out of here, _now. _Or the Volturi will find a punishment for you." Anger was bubbling up inside me at his words.

"They've killed you Edward," I whispered. "They've killed you, and you don't fucking see it."

"Come on Anya," He started to walk away again.

"Please, Edward!" I screamed, distraught. Jasper caught hold of my arm. I tried to shake him off, but he wouldn't let go.

"It's not going to be any use now," he whispered, shocked. I carried on struggling and sobbing, but when I looked up, Edward was gone. The girl, Anya, was still walking away, her hand clamped over her mouth. She looked at me.

_I'm sorry, _she mouthed.

"NO!" I screamed yet again, falling to my knees, but no one except Jasper heard me. The streets were empty again, and as the sun peeked over the horizon, I cried and cried, Jasper resting his head on my shoulder, completely silent.

**A/N: **

**:( Poor Bella! And Edward's transforming into Daarrkwaard D: Sorry it was a long update, I've been working my butt off at the moment- my first exam is on Friday, and I'm freaking out SO much! I'm trying to get five pages of French AND German into my head, and I don't have that**__**much time for writing. Little warning- I know this is rated T, but some parts will have bad language in parts. Nothing worse than in this chapter though… Anyway, hope you like it, pleeeease review!**


	7. Why?

_Reminder…_

_Edward was gone. The girl, Anya, was still walking away, her hand clamped over her mouth. She looked at me. _

I'm sorry_, she mouthed. _

_ "NO!" I screamed yet again, falling to my knees, but no one except Jasper heard me. The streets were empty again, and as the sun peeked over the horizon, I cried and cried, Jasper resting his head on my shoulder, completely silent. _

7. Why?

**Edward POV**

"NO!" I heard her scream after me as I stormed through the dark streets. I scowled. I didn't have a clue who she was, or where she had come from. But I _did _know she was the girl from Alice's visions. And that angered me. There was no way I could know her, so she had to be planning something with Alice. Her and the blonde haired boy, who was constantly picturing Alice in his head.

But there was something else familiar about the girl, and it took a few minutes for it to set in. Mixed in with her freesia scent, was a soft smell of strawberries. The odour I had smelt on the clothes I had woken up in, that I hadn't been able to get out of my head. Had she been following me, leaving her smell everywhere? I frowned.

I hadn't been able to read her thoughts. Her head was silent. Her eyes had portrayed several emotions: fear, sadness, loss, hurt. But that just meant she was a good actress. I couldn't actually get into her head and find any truth behind her voice.

Who did she think she was? Treating me like she and I knew each other, like I would actually go around with crazy people like her. She was trying to bring me down, trying to stop the family who had taken me in.

"Edward!" Anya called after me, running to catch up. "Are you okay?"

"Stupid bitch," I hissed under my breath. Anya frowned.

"She was just a little confused," she mumbled. I shook my head.

"Crazy more like," I hissed. She didn't agree, just stayed silent.

"Do you still want to go hunting?" she asked eventually. I shook my head.

"I don't really feel like it anymore. I wasn't that hungry anyway." She nodded in agreement, and we started to walk home in silence. I occasionally peeked at her to see her expression, but she was looking down, her golden hair falling over her face.

We heard the screeching as soon as we descended through the trap door that led to our home. Anya shot me a terrified glance, and we both ran through the stagnant air of the tunnel, the yells becoming louder and louder.

We broke into the main hall and I saw immediately who was making all the noise. For her size, she sure was loud. Her eyes narrowed when she saw me, and she immediately broke away easily from the hold of Felix and Demetri and was up in my face and seconds.

"What did you do, Edward?" she screamed. "What did you do?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said coldly, pushing her away. She glared at me.

"You know _exactly _what you've done." I wouldn't have expected Alice to lose control like this, her eyes were wild and her hands raked through her hair. She pushed away Alec as he tried to grab her hand, hissing at him. "You completely disowned her! You were meant to bring her here, we were meant to get out!" She screamed in frustration, her shoulders shaking violently up and down. "I want to see Jasper! And you turned him away!" She grabbed my arm, and lowered her voice. "I don't know who I am Edward. I woke up here, but I know this isn't where I belong. Something's wrong. My visions don't add up to the stories they've told me. You've got to believe me, we can go after them!" Felix wound his arms around her waist, dragging her towards the doors and she screamed, pushing at them.

"I don't know what trying to turn me into, but it's not right," I hissed. She laughed coldly.

"What _I'm _trying to turn you into? You're different to when I first met you Edward. And I haven't done anything to change that." She struggled against Felix, but he didn't loosen his grip. Jane flitted in front of her in a second, smirking.

"We warned you that you weren't to leave your room. You must be punished for this." Alice's eyes dropped to the floor and she looked hopeless. Then she started to scream again, long keening cries as she dropped from Felix's arms to the floor, rolling and shrieking.

"Please, stop!" she sobbed through them, but Jane laughed, and Felix and Demetri took hold of either arm, ready to pull…

"Stop!" Aro commanded, and Jane looked towards him, Alice whimpering beside her on the floor. "We will not destroy her. She is too useful for that. But if she escapes again, she _will _be killed. And this venture will not be without punishment."

Her eyes met mine, and she frowned.

"This is your fault," she whispered, as Demetri hauled her up. "All your fault," she swayed a little, and sighed. "You need to find out who they are Edward. Please. After all you've done, it's the least you can do." she begged quietly, but Jane pushed her roughly towards the exit, towards the tunnels again.

Anya took a sharp breath, and I looked to see her mouth in a perfect o shape, her eyes huge.

"This isn't right," she murmured, her voice breaking in the middle, and she turned, walking back through the tunnels. I followed her, grabbing her arm. She span around, biting her lip. "I didn't mean for this to happen!" she cried. "I've caused so much suffering!" I pulled her into my arms and she sobbed tearlessly into my chest.

"Hey, it's not your fault," I protested, rubbing the small of her back. She just cried harder.

"Anya," Jane said sternly from behind us. We both turned to look at her. "Can I have a word?" She nodded silently, her hands clenched around the cloak I had been given and then released, her arms falling. Her chin wobbled, and she blew out a gust of air, following Jane. She waved meekly at me as she walked away, her sweet voice singing in her head, this time in French.

I looked behind me, checking if anyone was watching, and I slid down the corridor after them, keeping to the shadows, silent.

"What the hell are you doing?" I heard Jane hiss. "You're going to expose us all,"

"This is wrong," she murmured. "So wrong."

"You ran into Bella didn't you? She can't do anything anymore, you know that," I frowned. That was the girl, the girl from the street. What was she going to do to Anya?

"You didn't tell me he has a daughter," she replied sharply. "You take him away from his wife, his little girl, and you expect me to be okay with it. I know what it's like to lose the people you love. It's horrible. This isn't right!" Who were they talking about? It couldn't be a vampire; it would have to be a human if they had a child.

"He doesn't have a daughter," Jane sniffed. "Not in his mind."

"But in her mind, he's still her father," Anya snapped, and on hearing her walking towards the door I darted behind a huge tapestry that hung on the wall.

"Be careful Anya. We don't give second chances," Jane growled, before slamming the door. Anya looked around her, and then sank to the floor, her head on her knees, her shoulders shaking violently. She wasn't singing in her head anymore, instead was just one word repeated over and over. Why.

**Bella POV**

I stared out of the little window, my eyes glazed over. He hadn't remembered me. He didn't know who I was, who Jasper was, who Renesmee was. And he seemed totally nonchalant about what happened to Alice. A familiar pain was ripping at my chest, and I twisted my wedding band round and round my finger.

Jasper sat on the edge of the bed, his mouth moving around silent words. His eyes were wide and frightened, his hands clenched in fists. He rocked backwards and forwards, and I realised how much this was tearing us apart. It was like a loose piece of thread sticking out from us had been pulled, and slowly we had faded until there was nothing left but a pile of string.

I didn't know what had happened to him, but I knew it was something to do with the girl that he was with, Anya. I had never seen her before. She had to have something to do with his memory loss. And I saw the way she looked at him. She was in love with him. Maybe he knew that, maybe he didn't. But all I could think about was that in not knowing me, anything could happen.

Then there was Alice. Something bad was happening to her. What they'd done to Edward, it would work on her, but she would see the future. We'd still be in her mind, like the Cullens had been when she had first woken. But what they were doing to her because of that knowledge of us was going to be something terrible. And I was frightened for my best friend.

"We have to get in there," I hissed quietly.

"How?" Jasper said, looking at me, his eyes empty of emotion. I shook my head, wishing desperately that some fantastic idea could just announce itself and save everything. Right now, I wasn't sure how we were going to get out of this situation.

Edward had forgotten everything. His family, his daughter, me. Every little kiss, every touch, every "I love you," had vanished into nothingness. I didn't know how to fix him. And Alice was being held captive and bad things were happening to her. I couldn't even control my own gift fully yet, let alone fight someone else's.

My phone started to ring, and I dug it out of my bag. The Caller ID told me it was Renesmee. I gulped. I couldn't tell her. She would come here, she would find him, try to make him see. And if it would make her happy, Jacob would let her.

"Hello?" I asked tentatively.

"Mom!" she exclaimed. "Have you found him yet? What's happening?"

"We haven't seen him yet sweetheart," I murmured. "We can't get inside." Jasper raised his eyebrows at me, and I shook my head.

"He will be okay, right?" she asked.

"Of course," I lied. I still wasn't any good at it, but it was easier to do over the phone than face to face.

"I miss you," she said gently, and I closed my eyes. Hearing her voice made me need her here, and I missed her like crazy. She could calm me down, make me happy, and manipulate my emotions better than Jasper, because all I could think about when I was with her was how much she meant to me.

"I miss you too," I managed to choke out. "How are things at home?"

"No one talks that much anymore," she sighed. "They try to act like they're okay, but they're all hurting. Jake's taking me over to La Push a lot, because I need to get away from it all. It's not the same with half of us gone."

"I'll try and be home as soon as I can," I promised, although I didn't know when that would be. It broke my heart to hear the unhappiness that tainted her voice. "Nessie, can I talk to Grampa Carlisle? It's important,"

"Okay," she agreed. "He's in his study." I could hear her running up the stairs. "I love you Mom."

"I love you too," I replied. "Call me again tomorrow,"  
"I will," she promised, and I wished that at that moment I could sweep her into my arms and kiss her bronze curls. "Bye Mom," There was a crackling noise, and then Carlisle's calm voice was in my ear.

"Bella?"

"Carlisle, I need you to get somewhere where she can't hear you," I hissed down the phone.

"That's fine, we just got company," he told me, and in the distance I could hear the doorbell ringing.

"Jake!" I heard Nessie sing, and then a door slammed.

"Has she gone?" I asked quickly.

"Yes. Bella, are you okay?"

"No," I stammered, and collapsed onto the bed, resting my head on Jasper's shoulder. "We found Edward yesterday,"

"But that's great!" he exclaimed. "So you're coming home,"

"No, we won't be home for a while yet," I shivered, and Jasper put his arm around me, trying to push calm into my body, although it was tinged with his sadness.

"Bella, did they capture you?" he asked, appalled.

"No," I whispered in a tiny voice. "He… he doesn't remember me. They erased his memory. He can't remember anyone, not even Nessie. And they've got Alice, but we think she's had visions of us, so they're hurting her, and Edward doesn't even care!" It all came out in a fountain of words that I didn't even pay attention to, just let them spill out of my mouth.

"No. No this can't happen. How?" Carlisle was breathing fast, and it was such a contrast from his normal calmness that I started to freak out.

"They've got a newborn. Her name is Anya," I sobbed. "I think she did it. I think it's her gift,"

"Okay, Bella, you need to stay calm," he instructed. "We need to think of what to do. How's Jasper?"

"He's here. He's… coping," Jasper gave one tiny nod, such a small movement I barely saw it.

"It sounds like we need to get Alice out first. She'll know what will happen, and she'll trust you,"

"But how do we get in?" I asked, exasperated.

"You'll have to work that one out Bells. I know you can. You've battled sadistic vampires, faced the Volturi twice, and saved us all."

"Yeah, because I helped so much," I snorted sarcastically.

"Bella, you can do this," he encouraged. "Use your strengths, and you'll get them out, both of them."

"I hope you're right," I whispered.

**A/N:**

**Bleeauugh, well that took a long time! Wow, school is so much work right now, but at least my language orals are over and done with! But my exams go into full swing on Tuesday, and after that, I think I'm going on hiatus, like I said. It's only a month! I might be able to get another chapter out before then, but I need to revise, and along with revision, teachers are setting us a ton of homework! But after the 16****th**** June, I have a two and a half month holiday, so there'll be lots of updates! **


	8. Honey Kisses

**Disclaimer: Naa I don't own Twilight. **

8. Honey Kisses

**Bella POV**

Pieces of paper torn out my notebook covered every flat surface in the small hotel room, each one filled with lightning quick sketches of ways around the city, what we knew of the Volturis' home, and a few where we had absent-mindedly drawn Edward or Alice, their bodies just flimsy paper, their eyes empty of emotion.

Jasper was lying flat out on the bed, having given up on the art, crushing several pencil drawings, his lips moving around silent words. I was yet again sketching the huge chamber I had seen all those years ago, trying to remember all the details from my fuzzy memories. Beside it was a list, trying to work out ways to get inside, plotting other possible entrances than the one we knew about.

I screamed a little in frustration, dropping my pencil. Even as a vampire, I wasn't amazing at drawing, and I couldn't get the detail in the room right.

"This isn't working!" I whined, pushing the paper away from me with such force that it flew across the room and hit the opposite wall. "We're never going to get them out. The building is too tightly protected!"

Jasper was in front of me in a flash, shaking his head.

"We can't give up now, Bella," he pleaded. "We're getting there, I can tell. I know we can do it,"  
"I'm not sure if he's ever going to get his memory back," I cried. "And Alice must be somewhere away from him; they're not going to let her tell him anything. It's impossible!" I threw my head into my hands, my shoulders heaving up and down as I sobbed tearlessly into them.

"Bella," he pulled my hands away and looked straight into my eyes. "It's not impossible. I love Alice. Nothing is impossible when it comes to saving her. And you know that's how you feel about Edward to," I nodded a little, resting my head against the wall.

"It's just so hard," I whispered. "And it's going to be worse if we slip up on any tiny thing,"

"We won't slip up," he said sternly. "We know that if we slip up, Edward or Alice could get hurt. That means that we won't," I stared at him. He was right. I would make sure I did everything correct if it meant Edward was kept out of harm. I gulped.

"We have to go inside, tonight," I said quickly. Jasper stared at me like I was crazy. "We're not going to get any more information," I pointed out. "And the more time we waste, the more the Volturi are manipulating Edward, and hurting Alice. We have to get in there, before it's too late." He looked at me carefully, as if he was studying my face.

"Okay." He sighed. "I guess it's time."

"We'll have to go through the main entrance," I picked up pieces of paper. "It's the only place we know leads there. Hopefully we won't bump into anyone."  
"Or we die," Jasper finished for me. I nodded silently, trying to act like I wasn't bothered. I knew if I died, Edward was stuck there forever. Renesmee wouldn't have a parent, and the real Edward would be dead, gone. Today, he was depending on me. Everyone was depending on me. I had to do this.

We spent the majority of the day discussing plans to get everyone out, and how we would try and get Edward to recognize me. Alice wasn't a problem. She had probably even seen we were coming to get her today.

When the sun's top was peeking over the horizon, sinking bit by bit, we knew it was time to go. We stood up silently, and my hand linked with Jasper's as we walked out the door of our room, and trotted down the stairs to the shadowy streets below us.

We kept to the darkness, refusing to step under the street lights, even though we already had several times that week. We were terrified of being seen, of ruining everything. I gripped Jasper's hand tightly, needing to know I wasn't alone, that I had help with this. I had faced the Volturi before. I could do it again.

Time seemed to be making no sense anymore. In the face of possible death, I couldn't take note of it, and we were at the drain-like hole in the ground quicker than I would have thought it would have taken. I stared at it, remembering the fuzzy memories of him dropping me down it that first time, the hard feeling of Alice's arms as I fell into them. I had been so scared, yet I was with him, so my fear hadn't mattered. I wish that he could be with me, so I wasn't so frightened that I was shaking.

"It's time, Bella," Jasper whispered. I nodded, and sat on the edge of the hole, my legs dangling into it. I closed my eyes, and jumped. My feet hit the ground, and I moved out of the way so Jasper could come after me. I couldn't feel the coldness of the tunnels this time around, but they weren't any more comforting.

Thankfully, there was no one around, so we tiptoed over stone floor, careful not to make any noise with our shoes. I was constantly checking over my shoulder, convinced we were going to be ambushed any second. I wondered why there wasn't more security. Then I realised. It would be stupid to try and attack the Volturi. Or even just to sneak in, searching for the one you love. I closed my eyes, just letting my feet carry me. I had to find Edward and Alice. I had to get him out.

Jasper made a strange noise in the back of his throat, and my eyes flashed open. They were immediately met by a pair of scarlet ones. Her blonde hair quivered on her shoulders, and her mouth fell open slowly. It was the girl. It was Anya.

**Anya POV**

Bella's amber eyes stared back at mine, her mouth open in shock. I looked behind me- quickly, so she wouldn't have an opportunity to attack- but I was alone.

"Try to tell anyone, and we'll kill you quicker than you can scream," Jasper hissed. I shuddered, looking between the two. The strange thing was, I didn't want to tell on either of them. Especially not the chocolate brown haired girl, with the wedding ring slipped onto her fourth finger. I knew where his was; they had hidden it from him.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. "They'll find you," Jasper frowned a little, but Bella's face stayed emotionless.

"We've come to get him back. To get them both back," she growled so quietly I barely heard her. I saw the desperateness in her eyes, even if she tried not to show it. I knew what I had to do. This was what was best for him.

"Aro, Caius, Demetri, Felix, Jane and Alec went to sort out some business today," I said in a deadpan voice, raising my eyebrows cryptically. "They won't be back for another few days. Most people are in their rooms, including Edward. Alice is being guarded, but only by Santiago. He won't be so difficult to overthrow, not with both of you." Bella stared for a minute, and then the corners of her mouth lifted and she was smiling a dazzling grin at me.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed, pulling me into her arms. "Thank you," I gulped. I wasn't used to anyone thanking me, to anyone just dropping their judgements that quickly. I was still wary.

"I'm Anya," I told her. "And you need to help Edward. He's changing."

"I know," she whispered, her eyes flickering around to check for anybody else.

The truth was, I loved him. I loved him more than anyone had. But I wasn't about to tell her that. Telling his wife that his smile made my stomach turn over, that I wanted to spend every second of my time with him, that I hated her, just because she was meant for him, I knew she would hate me in seconds again, that she would never trust me.

I knew Edward couldn't stay here with me. We could never be together. Firstly, it was all lies. Even our friendship was based on deception and secrets.

Secondly, I knew what this place was doing to him, what _I _was doing to him. I remembered him that first time I had seen him, his hair messed up, and I had wiped all his memory, making him forget her. He was beautiful then, but there was this added prettiness of kindness, and selflessness, and all the things I missed in people. That wasn't there anymore. He was becoming more and more like them.

And thirdly, I knew he didn't belong to me. He was married. Bella was his first love, and they belonged together. They had a connection that I couldn't deny was there. And however much Volterra had changed me from the girl that was living on the streets, yet still had a conscience, to this monster I was now, I wasn't going to break that.

He was also, never going to love me back. I could see it in his eyes that we were nothing more than friends. And that was killing every part of me.

Jasper stared at me with raised eyebrows.

"How do we know we can trust you?" he asked. "How do we know that the whole Volturi guard aren't waiting for us?"

"Because Edward is my… friend," I whispered. "And I don't want him hurt any more than you do,"

"He's not going to go with me," Bella murmured. "He doesn't recognize me,"

"I can make him go," I encouraged. "He listens to me. You should probably get Alice first, then you can get Edward out before he changes his mind." They both nodded in agreement. "I'll come with you, you need some support," Jasper eyed me suspiciously, but he didn't protest.

The halls were empty. I nodded at Gianna as we walked past, trying to hold my breath. She frowned at the sight of Bella and Jasper, but started to work again.

"Does she know we're not supposed to be here?" Bella whispered under her breath. I shook my head. I saw her concentrate hard as she tried to do something. Jasper gave her a sidelong glance. I knew she had used the shield Aro always talked about. Apparently it was even more powerful than Renata's. She wasn't so happy when Aro talked about it.

I opened the doors and peeked into the huge hall. Luckily it was empty. Even Marcus didn't occupy his huge throne. I frowned. Something wasn't right. I thought it would be more difficult to get them inside.

"Quickly," I whispered behind me, and I ran across the hall as quickly as I could. They both followed, a little slower than me since I had my newborn powers. "She's down in the tunnels," I told them. They glanced at one another. I could see they were becoming suspicious of the lack of people too. They knew something was wrong, yet they still followed me into the tunnels. I led the way, I had only been down there once, and I tried to remember the route. It was difficult for even my vampire mind. We got deeper and deeper, until you could smell the water that hung in the air.

Jasper grabbed Bella's arm. "I can feel her!" he exclaimed. "She's excited, she knows we're coming, but she's also a little bit worried, and scared." Although his voice was a whisper, it echoed off the walls, and I shook my head frantically at him. He bit his lip.

"Well, well, well," Santiago leered, swinging round the corner. "I see you've brought some friends to rot with the girl, Anya,"

"Yes," I said, trying not to let my voice shake, trying not to shudder at his evil grin. I watched them exchange terrified glances, and I raised my eyebrows at them. They understood immediately. "Now!" I cried, and we all pounced at the same time. Santiago didn't stand a chance.

His body screeched as we pulled it apart, and piled it up.

"We need to burn it," I cried frantically, but Jasper shook his head.

"He can't be put together without venom," he pointed out. "He's going to have a hard time putting himself back together with his head severed. We'll leave him here for someone to repair later. We don't need to kill," Bella nodded in agreement, and then they both looked at each other grinning, and began to run down the passageway.

"Alice!" Jasper cried.

"Jasper!" she called back. I heard a smashing sound, and when I turned the corner, I saw Alice in Jasper's arms, her hands clasped behind him. "You came," she whispered. "I knew you'd come for me." Her eyes caught mine and she gasped.

"Jasper, behind you!" she yelped, he whirled around and sighed when he just saw me there.

"It's okay, she helped us," he told her, and she smiled gratefully at me, before running to hug Bella.

"I don't know who either of you are, why I see you," she whispered. "But I know from my visions, that you're good. And just that alone can be better than anything here. "

"You'll get to know us," Jasper chuckled. Alice stared at him for a second and then sighed.

"I don't want to ruin this, but I need to tell you something. I don't know if you know it. I love you Jasper. I've loved you since I woke up and saw you. I've been desperate for you to find me. And even if you don't return that feeling, it fills my entire heart." Both Bella and Jasper laughed, and I smiled a little.

He gathered her in his arms, and slowly bent down to kiss her softly on the lips. "That's good," he whispered against them. "Considering you're my wife,"

"I am?" she cried happily. He nodded. "Why can't I remember that?"

"I… I wiped your memory," I whispered, hanging my head, ashamed. "Yours and Edward's." She frowned, confused.

"And now you're helping us?" I nodded, silent. She shrugged.

"Well, I guess you changed. Now, we have to find Edward." She was already into the next part of the mission, even though she was weak; she hadn't eaten in weeks. Bella smiled in anticipation, and I wished I could smile that smile, that I could find him for me.

"I can help with that part too," I told them, and we left the tunnels, Bella practically skipping, and Jasper's arm slung around Alice's waist, Santiago left behind us in pieces.

"Edward?" I called softly, knocking on his door. He shouted at me to come in, and I slipped inside, Bella grinning at the sound of his voice.

Edward was sitting on an armchair, reading and he smiled at me when I came in. His eyes weren't gold anymore, more of a deep orange, tinged from the human blood he had drunk.

"Edward?" I asked again, and he frowned.

"What's wrong?" he looked worried, and I closed my eyes. I was going to have to say goodbye to him. I would never see that chiselled face, the red hair, the strange eyes. He was going.

"Edward, you have to promise you do what I say today. I need you to listen to me," I pleaded. He nodded once. "What Aro told you, it was a lie. You didn't wake up here after all those years. You were living those years. And some of them, they were spent with Bella."

"What? But that's… that's impossible…" he gasped.

"I don't have much time to explain, but Bella will. She's here. She's going to take you home Edward. But I need you to get out without looking back, without talking to anyone else. I need you to go Edward. And never come back." He blinked at me, his mouth hanging open.

"But…" he whispered. "Here…"

"Here it's a lie Edward," I cried. "Everything they've told you is a lie. That's why thoughts are masked all the time. That's why I'm not keeping my thoughts from you right now. Because _this _is the truth. Bella, Jasper, Alice…" I called. They crept into the room, and I saw Bella's eyes light up. Alice looked a little wary.

"What are they doing here," he hissed, his eyes narrowed.

"Edward, you have to come with us," Bella begged. "You belong in Forks, with us. We're the Cullens. We're a unit." He stared at her, and then looked at me.

"You're all crazy," he murmured. "Completely crazy,"

"You're my best friend," I muttered. "I wouldn't lie to you,"

"But you have been for the last weeks?" he looked hurt.

"I tried to tell you," I hung my head. "I tried," He sighed, and walked towards me, hugging me.

"I'll go if you go," he told me. I shook my head, biting my lip.

"I can't Edward," I whispered. "I don't belong," I didn't belong with him. He looked at me sadly on hearing my thoughts.

"You have to come," he pleaded. "I don't want to spend my time with _them,_" he added, breathing it in my ear so that only I could hear.

"You're welcome to come back with us Anya," Bella added. I shook my head. I couldn't deal with the pain of him and her. Edward looked confused, glancing at Bella.

"Get out of here, quickly. Promise me." I whispered.

"No," he protested. "You expect me to go with them. I don't know them!" I heard Bella's little sharp intake of breath.

"You know them more than you know me," I whispered, letting my arms drop back to my sides. "Please Edward. You need to get out of here. Remember when you started, and nothing added up. This is why. Because this _isn't_ you. It never was. You need to go. I promise this is really the only option for you now,"

"This is the only way?" he asked. "I can't just stay here? I don't mind if my life is a lie. This is all I know. I want to keep it that way,"

"Do this Edward, for me," I pleaded. He closed his eyes and nodded once.

"We need to go," Alice said quickly. "They're coming soon,"

"I'll catch up with you," he told them, and I watched the hurt cloud across Bella's eyes over the fact that he didn't want to be with her. But Jasper nodded, and they left, Bella lingering at the door for a few moments before she sighed and walked out.

"I don't want to go Anya," he whispered.

"Edward!" I begged. "Do this, for me!" He closed his eyes and nodded.

"I know how you feel about me," he murmured. "And I'm sorry I don't feel the same way. It would be so easy to love you. But there's something in me, that… somehow can't. But I want to say goodbye. And this is the best way I can think of doing it." He leant down, until his mouth was centimetres from mine, and I could taste his sweet, honey breath. "Goodbye," he whispered, and then his mouth was moving against mine, and it was the best feeling in the world, yet the worst at the same time.

"Edward, we have to go…" the words were cut off by a tiny squeak, and I broke away from him quickly. Bella stood in the doorway, her eyes huge, her lip wobbling. "It…it's time to go," she stammered, and then she fled from the doorway.

"Go with her," I demanded. "Now." He ran towards the door, and then looked back.

"Goodbye best friend," he muttered. He waved a little, and then was gone. And I sank to my knees and I cried. I cried until they stormed in, grabbed me by the arms, and dragged me away.

**A/N: **

**So I was going to do this entirely Bella/Edward POVs, but I had to slip an Anya one in, to let you know how she felt about Edward :) And they KISSED D: Don't worry, Edward doesn't think of Anya in any romantic way at all :D I have no more exams! My last one was today! I'm sooo glad I went on hiatus though, because a) I didn't really want writing to be a distraction from revising and b) I've actually had really really bad writers block. I tried to write this like ten times from Edwards POV at the beginning before I realised Bella's POV would be better! But this took me like, the whole month to write in the end! I'm back now though, and since I've got a stupid August birthday, and no one will give me a job until I'm 16, I'm free for a lot of the summer! Soo that means lots of chapters :D This only took me like a day to do, even though it's so long!**


	9. Trouble & Confusion

_Reminder…_

"_Goodbye," he whispered, and then his mouth was moving against mine, and it was the best feeling in the world, yet the worst at the same time. _

_ "Edward, we have to go…" the words were cut off by a tiny squeak, and I broke away from him quickly. Bella stood in the doorway, her eyes huge, her lip wobbling. "It…it's time to go," she stammered, and then she fled from the doorway. _

_ "Go with her," I demanded. "Now." He ran towards the door, and then looked back._

"_Goodbye best friend," he muttered. He waved a little, and then was gone. And I sank to my knees and I cried. I cried until they stormed in, grabbed me by the arms, and dragged me away. _

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

9. Trouble & Confusion

**Edward POV**

The Bella girl refused to look at me when I came out the room. Her head was down and her shiny coffee coloured hair fell across her face so I couldn't see her expression. Her hand was linked tightly with Alice's, who was still attached like glue to the Jasper boy she had forever talked about.

"Let's go," he whispered quietly, and they started to tiptoe towards the hall. I let my feet follow them, dazed. I knew this wasn't what I wanted. But I trusted Anya. And nothing seemed to make sense here.

I tried to listen to their thoughts. Jasper and Alice were just thinking about each other, and a tiny part was trying to think of ways to get out. But Bella… her mind was silent. I stared. What was wrong with me? Why did this girl, this weak, little girl make a glitch in the system that had never failed me. Had she found a more sophisticated way of concealing her thoughts than the Volturi?

Jasper held his hand out once we got to the hall. Alice's eyes were wide and frightened. He carefully slid the door open, peeking through the tiny gap he had made. He frowned, and then gestured us forwards.

The hall was empty. That was odd. Even though many of the guard had gone to sort out that business- an immortal child they had called it- there was generally someone keeping watch in the huge cavern. My eyes flickered around the giant space, but there was no sign of life at all.

We kept to the shadows, although I was tempted to make a loud noise, to reveal them. I wanted to go back to Anya, and we could leave here, maybe explore the world. Even though my feelings would never match hers, we could live together as friends.

We were at the other set of doors in a second, and the bright lights were suddenly upon us.

Alice breathed in suddenly, a huge shuddering gasp, and all three of us jumped into a defensive position automatically. I scanned the room, but there was no one but Gianna, who was staring at us all. Alice took deep breaths in, her fist clenched around Bella's, leaning into Jasper.

I suddenly realised what was wrong.

"She hasn't hunted in weeks," I breathed, and Jasper looked between Alice and Gianna, terrified.

"Alice, no," Bella pleaded, holding tightly onto her arm. But in a split-second, Alice had pushed both Bella and Jasper away and had flown at Gianna.

She screamed. The sound echoed around the room, coming at us a million times, and we all froze, except for Alice, who had already sunk her teeth into Gianna's throat.

"No!" Jasper gasped, at the same time I was grabbed from behind.

My immediate reaction was to turn around and fight. I moved so fast it was difficult for whoever was holding me to keep their grip. They let go, and I managed to get a little away from them, crouched and prepared for their blows.

I stared at Afton, my lips curled over my teeth.

"So, I see you've decided to leave us Edward," he smirked, and then dodged towards my throat. I grabbed his arm and twisted it, pushing it behind his back. In the second that he was disabled I saw Alice being pulled from Gianna by Heidi, Marcus battling Jasper and Chelsea shaking Bella, her hands gripped tightly around her forearms.

Afton dragged himself away from me, and pounced again. I deflected him so that he rolled onto the floor and then I jumped on top on him, pinning him to the ground.

"So it's true," I snarled in his face. "You all lied to me," He grinned.

"And you believed us so easily," he sneered. I managed to get hold of one of his fingers and I tore it off, throwing it across the room. I growled in his face and he narrowed his eyes at me, grunting a little from the pain.

Someone screamed. Bella fell to the ground and rolled about ten feet along it, hitting it so hard that she ploughed into it. Chelsea was above her in an instant, grinning, her prey finally captured.

"NO!" I shouted, and released Afton, immediately jumping in front of Bella, defending her from the vicious female. I hesitated for a second. What was I doing? It had been an involuntary reaction, and I had risked my life to do it. I was risking my life to save hers.

I didn't know why. I didn't know why my mouth was stretched out in a hiss, why I was ready to attack Chelsea. Something had pulled me here, something strong that managed to erase all common sense and get me in front of the girl who was cowering on the ground.

Afton was next to Chelsea immediately, snarling at me.

"Don't even think about touching her," he growled. I heard Bella cautiously get to her feet behind me, and she slid forward to stand next to me, rubbing her white arm a little.

Suddenly she pounced, so silently that I almost didn't notice, and both she and Chelsea were rolling around on the floor again. Afton hit me so hard against the wall that we both crashed through it and into another room. He managed to bite me on the arm and I hissed in the pain as the sting spread through it.

I tore a hunk of hair out of his head and threw it on the floor, but I wasn't sure how much further I could get. Vampires fought to the death. We couldn't become so hurt that we couldn't fight any more like humans. We had to rip each other apart, or we wouldn't win.

Afton was strong, but I was faster. He also had trouble blocking his mind with all the strategies running through it. I could read the moves he was about to make and dodge them before he even raised an arm.

A furious scream broke through the fighting, and both of us span to see where it had come from. The scene seemed to move in slow motion. Alice was groaning in pain, her arm clutched in Heidi's hand. Jasper's eyes were wide, fixed on only her. He didn't see Marcus behind him and was knocked straight to the floor. But he didn't continue to fight. He crawled over to Heidi, grabbing her by the ankle and pulling her down on the floor with him.

"Don't hurt her!" he yelled at her, and they began to fight. Marcus grinned at Alice, leering at her. She took a step backwards, cringing into the stone wall. She hadn't had any blood at all. Not only was her blood lust magnified, she was weak.

Jasper was trying fruitlessly to fight against Heidi and the approaching Marcus, trying desperately to protect Alice. I glanced at Afton. He seemed as transfixed at the scene as I was, then I saw his eyes were locked on Chelsea, who was surprisingly losing to Bella. I had no idea she was so good at fighting. She blocked moves easily, and attacked twice as much as Chelsea did. For such a fragile looking girl, she knew how to fight. I wondered who had taught her.

Both Afton and I seemed to break out of our trance at the same time, and he slammed his hand across my chest. I flew several feet through the air, a little stunned by the blow.

Bella's amber eyes followed me, worried. They were the only things I noticed in the seconds I was airborne, and it startled me a little. But my attention was recaptured quickly by Afton who was striding towards me menacingly. I dodged him and tossed him over, suddenly strengthened by some unknown source that made me keep fighting, made me want to win this more than anything I'd ever wanted in my life.

Alice screamed again, and something hit my foot. I stared. A long arm, littered with luminous half-moon shaped scars wriggled on the floor beneath me. Jasper's arm this time. He was grunting in pain, his other hand pressed over the empty socket, kicking out at Marcus so that he flew across the room.

Afton was on his feet again, and he tightened his hand around my throat, moving his teeth in to rip through my neck. I managed to push him off, and I got to his in the seconds where we were millimetres apart from each other. The metallic shriek filled the air, and everyone's head seemed to turn.

"NO!" Chelsea shrieked, her face distorted into complete despair. I quickly dismembered the rest of the body, but she stopped me halfway. I heard the thought before it happened, and she ran towards me, ready to pounce.

Bella was faster. She grabbed Chelsea's arm and span her around to face her, growling ferociously in her face.

"Don't touch him!" she shrieked wildly, her eyes narrowed. I stared. This was different to the icy shoulder I had experienced earlier. Chelsea was out of control, she screamed and spat, trying everything she could to get to me, but Bella held on tight, fighting against her. She winced in pain as her thumb was torn off in the struggle.

Alice and Jasper were still battling Heidi and Marcus, but it looked like the two Volturi were worse off for casualties. It suddenly seemed like we had a chance of winning.

I moved forwards to help Bella with Chelsea, who lashed out at me as soon as I got close, anger filling her deep red eyes. Bella pushed her away, pinning her against the wall.

"Go and help Jasper and Alice," she insisted. I looked over to where the two were fighting magnificently. Alice's gift was even more useful than mine, she knew which move was going to happen, and managed to do the whole thing with her eyes closed. Jasper was almost as good, he obviously had fighting experience, which was where I supposed he got his battle scars from. They didn't need help. But Bella looked like she wouldn't be able to beat the furious Chelsea. "Go!" she told me.

I didn't want to leave her. Somehow something kept me attached to her, like two magnets refusing to be kept apart.

"Edward," she growled through her teeth. "Go and help Jasper and Alice," But I saw the flash in her eyes of something I hadn't seen in a while. It was hope. I frowned. That emotion flickering through her had woken me up. Why was I letting her think that I could be tamed by her, that I would ever like her? I didn't like her. I was just trying to do the right thing. I turned on my heel and as I made my way over to the two pairs, Heidi hissed and her mahogany hair fell in curls to the ground along with her head.

We were four against two. At this point, we knew we were going to win. Unless our fight attracted more of the guard, we were safe. Gianna lay forgotten in the corner, blurred thoughts running through her head, brief flickers of pain and… fire. She started to scream, and everyone winced, knowing what was happening.

I ran to help Jasper and Alice, and together we easily tore Marcus to pieces. They hurried to help Bella with Chelsea, but I hung back and then went to check on Gianna. She was in a lot of pain, and there was nothing anyone could do to help that now. She was going to become one of them.

"Edward?" Alice murmured softly. "We're done. We can go home now." I looked up at her. She was carefully applying venom around her arm, before sticking it back on, gasping in pain a little. Bella and Jasper shielded Chelsea's body from view, repairing their wounds.

"Home?" I whispered.

"Yes, home." She said decisively. I stared at her. Today I'd been told that everything I had known was a lie, I'd left my best friend behind, and I'd fought and killed the people that I had previously thought were my friends. I was worn out of new things. I didn't want to have to settle into a new home, a new family as well, especially one that was sure to hate me.

"We need something to burn the bodies," Jasper said frantically, looking around, glancing towards Gianna, who was sure to attract more attention soon.

"We don't need to kill them do we?" Bella asked gently. "We could just get away quickly, like we did with Santiago."

"They know it's us anyway," Alice agreed, putting her hand on Jasper's reattached arm. I nodded. I didn't want to kill them. Even if they _had _been lying to me.

"Let's go then," Jasper said quickly. "Before anyone finds us."

Bella, Jasper and Alice began to run for the exit, and I followed them. We didn't stop running. And though I didn't want to go, I would be stupid to go back to the Volturi. The four bodies that lay in pieces emphasised that point. I had too many enemies there.

Bella and Jasper took two minutes to gather up their belongings and check out of their hotel, and then we were running again.

Alice kept squealing excitedly, and I could see the visions mapped out in her mind. A blonde man, a woman with loose caramel curls clinging to him, her eyes wide. A girl with long blonde hair, holding hands with a huge muscular man. And then there was one of me. A young girl of about ten or eleven stood in front of me, tears pouring down her pale face. Bella was pulling at her arm, trying to drag her away.

I guessed that this was Bella and Jasper's family. This was where we were going. And though I wasn't sure it was what I wanted, I knew that maybe, this could be a place I could belong.

We had been running for hours when suddenly Bella wasn't next to me anymore. She was sprinting through the trees ahead, desperation etched into her face.

Alice and Jasper looked at each other and the family I'd seen in Alice's vision filled both of their minds. They both laughed, and followed Bella through the trees. I didn't bother to pick up my pace, I just followed their scents. I was apprehensive about this strange family, and I wasn't in any rush to get there.

Eventually I broke out of the trees, and every head except Bella's turned. She was too busy planting kisses on every inch of the child's hair. The girl broke free of Bella's grip, and she grinned.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed. Bella stared at the child as she ran towards me, then she looked at me, her eyes frightened.

I stared at the child in front of me, taking a step back as she tried to hug me. She mimicked my movement.

"Dad?" she whimpered, her chocolate brown eyes filling with tears. She was human. "Daddy? What's wrong? It's me. It's Nessie."

**A/N: **

**Oh god, I actually said to myself, oo I'll do this the day after I update, then it'll be done quickly. Almost four weeks later, and that obviously wasn't the case. The truth is, along with a lot of writers block (I can't write fight scenes to save my life), I just haven't had time! And when I have, it's been such lovely weather that I just want to sit outside and read a book, rather than stay outside on my computer! I hoped you liked this chapter though! **

**I haven't seen Eclipse yet D: I was going to see it last Friday, but then my friend got grounded and couldn't go, then I was going to see it tomorrow, but now I've realised the showing is too late and if I go, I'll miss my singing lesson, and I think I'm going Thursday now. I hope! Is it any good? **

** So, I'm actually busy most of this week now, but hopefully I'll have an update up by next Monday/Tuesday. If I haven't, feel free to shout at me in any way you like! Please review :D **


	10. Stuck in a Sea of Faces

_Reminder…_

_I broke out of the trees, and every head except Bella's turned. She was too busy planting kisses on every inch of the child's hair. The girl broke free of Bella's grip, and she grinned. _

_ "Daddy!" she exclaimed. Bella stared at the child as she ran towards me, then she looked at me, her eyes frightened. _

_ I stared at the child in front of me, taking a step back as she tried to hug me. She mimicked my movement. _

_ "Dad?" she whimpered, her chocolate brown eyes filling with tears. She was human. "Daddy? What's wrong? It's me. It's Nessie."_

**Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me; I'm just making these vampires sparkle a little more :) **

10. Stuck in a Sea of Faces

"Daddy?" she whimpered again. I just stared at her. I couldn't be her father. It was impossible. I had already been told that vampires couldn't produce young.

"Nessie, come with me," Bella soothed, catching hold of the girl's arm. "It's going to be all right."  
"NO!" she shrieked, pulling her arm away. "What's wrong with him? What did they do to him? Why doesn't he remember me? He should remember me!"

"Edward," the woman standing next to the blonde man whispered. "Edward, I think you should come inside with us." She looked pointedly at the Nessie girl. I nodded, stunned a little, and followed them slowly into the house. Bella still fought with Nessie behind us, trying desperately to keep her where she was, while the girl screeched and twisted, and tried everything to get to me.

"It won't be long until they find us," Jasper was telling the blonde man. He sounded a little shaken by what had just happened. "We have to get out of here, as fast as we can. And we'll have to keep moving, or Demetri will find us."

"Demetri is easy to take care of," the huge burly man laughed, flexing his muscles.

"Yes, but he won't be alone." Jasper hissed. "We can't fight everyone." The muscular man rolled his eyes.

"Edward, Alice, my name is Carlisle," the blonde man told us. "Carlisle Cullen," I hissed. This was the man who had turned me. Who had almost killed me once I was useless to him.

"For God's sake, Edward, when are you going to get it into your head that the Volturi _lied _to you," Alice huffed, understanding my reaction immediately. I still didn't trust him, I'd hated this man from the start, and couldn't understand how I'd come from him turning me to being with the Volturi in the first place.

"I'm Esme Cullen," his mate said, trying to break the tense atmosphere. "We missed you both," I looked down. It was so strange to be missed by people who I'd never known had existed.

"I'm Emmett, your favourite brother in the world," the huge man laughed, giving Jasper a playful shove, and then pulling Alice up into a massive bear hug. "We missed you little legs," he told her. She stuck her tongue out at him. They were already acting as if they were best friends. Emmett hesitated in front of me, and smiled a little. "Missed you too Edward." He closed his eyes sadly, and then the small, fake smile was replaced with a huge grin. "And this is my amazing, sexy, hot wife Rosalie." Rosalie glared at me, folding her arms.

"He shouldn't have just done that to her," she growled. She blew hundreds of insults at me in her thoughts.

"Rose," Esme pleaded quietly. She rolled her eyes.

"So he's allowed to completely devastate her, yet we have to be sensitive to him? How is that fair Esme? Alice is okay, she's happy with all of this. So why is he any different?"

"Rosalie," Carlisle snapped as I tried to think of something to say, trying to move my frozen lips. "I think you should go see Bella and Nessie. Now." She scowled, but the order was forgotten as soon as the doors burst open.

"Great." She muttered. "Now the mutt's here too." A tall man with a lot of dark hair sticking up all over his head strode into the room. He was human, I could hear his heart beating very loudly. He also stunk of wet dog, so much so that I wrinkled my nose in distaste.

"Is she okay? Something's wrong, she's upset, I can tell," he said frantically, running his hand through his unevenly cut hair. "Hey, you're back," he grinned, noticing me and Alice. His tone switched back to worried straight away. "Where are Bella and Nessie? What's happened?"

"They're in the cottage," Esme said gently. "Bella will probably explain to you," He relaxed, but still rushed out of the room as quickly as he had come in.

"That's Jacob," Emmett added, noticing my confused look. "He's Nessie's best friend. Bella's too."

"I don't get it." I whispered. "I don't get how she could be my daughter. I'm a vampire."

"Bella was only changed a few years ago," Esme explained. "No one had ever worked out that vampires could impregnate human women."

"I was with her when she was _human?_" I asked incredulously. Rosalie sighed, and followed Jacob's footsteps out the door. I realised immediately that I had said the wrong thing. Everyone was frowning at me. The Volturi had always acted like humans were inferior, beneath us. I didn't feel exactly the same, but I knew that our race was far more advanced than theirs. Added to that, a relationship with a human would be so tempting that it would be near impossible. I didn't get why they were so shocked to my reaction.

"We need to make plans to start moving," Jasper said, breaking the tension. Everyone nodded, busying themselves with chatter, whilst I stood there, trying to work out what was happening to me.

The business was only broken when the doors crashed open, and Jacob strode into the room for the second time, but this time, his face was screwed up in anger. Nessie clung to his arm, tears still streaking down her cheeks, protesting feebly.

"How could you do that?" he yelled at me, although he took a step back when Nessie pulled him, even though he must have been a lot stronger than that. "How could you hurt her?" Rosalie and Bella both appeared in the doorway, both staring at Jacob and I. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. "I don't care if you've lost your memory or whatever, you don't do that," he hissed. Then his fist drew back, and he punched me. He wasn't human, I could tell that by the fact that the punch hurt, a lot. I hit back automatically, not caring whether I hurt him or not.

"Jacob!" Nessie shrieked. "Don't do this now!" Jacob looked at her and rolled his eyes, but sauntered back over to stand back next to her, like he'd do whatever she said.

Alice put her arm on my shoulder, knowing that I was about to walk over and do all I could to hurt him. "You'll just regret it later," she whispered. I wished people would stop telling me how I felt, but I decided against wiping the smug satisfaction off his face. He pulled Nessie into his arms, so that she was crying into his bare chest. I raised my eyebrows. She was ten. It was a little inappropriate. But Bella didn't react at all; she only glared at me, and walked over to Carlisle, asking for details of our escape.

"I think we have to leave now," he sighed. "Everyone go fill a rucksack of their things, and then we'll go."

"I'm coming too," Jacob grinned, not leaving room for any negotiation on the matter, and taking Nessie's hand and pulling her out of the house. I looked around helplessly as everyone bustled out of the room, chattering about which clothes and possessions to pack.

"Edward, your things are in the cottage," Bella murmured, her eyes gentler than before. "You don't live here. Follow me."

As soon as we were out of the house, she broke into a run, following a path that wound into the surrounding forest.

The run was silent, but instead of awkward, it was comforting, like she knew I didn't want to talk. It wasn't long before a little stone cottage appeared out of the trees, a lot smaller than the other house, but a lot prettier somehow. It almost seemed to grow there, like it was part of the environment.

Bella led me through the cottage quickly, although my eyes touched on several photos splattered along the mantelpiece, each one featuring either me, Bella, Nessie or Jacob, and one with everyone in the Cullen family squished into the frame.

The bedroom was painted white, with most of the room taken up by a huge bed.

"Sit down," she said quietly. "I'll just get my stuff together, then I'll let you go through the wardrobe and choose some clothes." She gave me a weak smile, and then disappeared behind the doors that led off the room.

I jumped when a huge bang echoed around the house, and someone swore. I got up, and crept out of the room, searching for the source of the noise. There was another door next to Bella's room, and I opened it carefully.

Nessie was struggling with a huge box of books and CDs, staggering a little under its weight. Another box had fallen on the floor, more books spilling out of it. I rushed towards her, and took the box from her, lifting it easily. She froze, and then slowly bent down to pick up the scattered books; most of them had ruined bindings and faded covers.

"I could have carried it," she muttered, lifting the other one and dumping it on her bed with a sigh.

"You read a lot," I observed quietly, trying to break the awkward silence.

"I take after Mom that way," her bottom lip wobbled a little, and she stared into the distance.

"Where's Jacob?" I attempted conversation again.

"He's run over to La Push to pick up his things. Look. Da… Edward. You don't have to do this. Act like you care. I know it's not your fault, but please don't pretend like everything's okay." She threw three or four books into her large rucksack, followed by a huge pile of clothes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. She closed her eyes, but then they flashed open again, and she pushed a toothbrush, toothpaste and a hairbrush into the small spaces.

"It doesn't matter," she said quickly, but I could see her chocolate brown eyes fill up with tears yet again.

"Edward?" Bella called softly. Nessie picked up her bag, swung it over her shoulder easily, even though it must have weighed a lot, grabbed the phone and iPod that were lying on top of a chest of drawers and left the room without a word.

I walked back to the white room, where Bella stood looking a little anxious.

"You didn't make her upset again did you?" she asked nervously. I shrugged. Her face suddenly turned hurt, and she looked down. "Pick up what you want, I'll meet you at the house," she said quickly, fleeing out the door.

She had left me a rucksack to pack my things in, and I searched through the wardrobe, picking out pairs of jeans which I had never remembered buying and shirts I had never seen before.

Once my rucksack was packed, I crept into the living room of the cottage. I walked over to the photos I had looked at earlier, staring at the different pictures in the frame.

The first one was Bella and I, a toddler clutched in our arms, smiling and waving happily at the camera. We both watched her, identical grins plastered across our faces. The second one was Bella, Jacob and a six year old Nessie, all pulling faces at the camera, arms around each other, eyes alight with happiness. The rest were all of similar themes, Nessie growing up, and pictures of Bella and I. The last one struck my interest the most. It had been folded in half at some point, and was a little battered, but it featured Bella and I, smiling shyly at the camera. Except this was a Bella I had never seen. She was human. Her eyes were identical to Nessie's, and her skin had a little more colour than it did now, although not by much, and I could see the way I leant just slightly away from her, away from her scent.

As I put the picture down, the huge piano in the corner caught my eye. I ran my fingers over the dark wood, the white and black keys that contrasted with each other so perfectly. I sat down on the carved stool, touching a key slowly, pressing it down. The note echoed around the silent house. And I touched another note, and another, trying to fit them together. Soon I was playing chords, and doing fiddly things with both hands, letting them move across the piano on their own accord. I stared. I didn't remember ever learning to play piano. Yet the tune my hands were playing was so familiar it was like I'd played it a thousand times. It was sweet and passionate, and it was like it had been in my mind the whole time.

My mind came back to earth with a jolt. I picked my hands of the piano and I stared at them. How had that happened? I couldn't think of a time where I'd ever played a chord, let alone a whole piece.

I slowly slung my rucksack over my shoulder, my fingers still splayed out in front of me as I scrutinised them, astonished. I made my way back to the big house in a daze, my hands clutched to my sides.

As soon as I walked into the hallway, I heard the melody I had played beforehand. I followed it, wondering who else knew the tune that had come out of my hands.

Bella was making her way around the dining room, straightening the ornaments and pictures that had to be left behind, humming to herself. It was the same tune I had just played. I wondered if she had heard me playing it, and was just repeating it, or it meant something significant. Her head snapped up.

"Oh, Edward," she breathed. "I was just… just… never mind," She pushed past me, and I watched sadly as she jogged up the stairs. I was just upsetting everyone by being here.

I dithered at the bottom of the stairs, not knowing what to do. I had no real friends here, no one to talk to. I missed Anya, and everyone seemed to hate me, especially Bella.

The conversation going on upstairs leaked through the ceiling, easily eavesdropped on by my ears, which still felt new to me.

"He obviously isn't the same person we used to know," Rosalie fumed. "I don't know why we don't just leave him behind."

"Rose," Esme sighed, exasperated.

"What I don't get is that he seems to feel nothing for Bella," Emmett mused. "When he first met her, he was obsessed with her. It was annoying!" Bella made a tiny, upset noise, and I suddenly felt the urge to run upstairs, wrap my arms around her, and tell them all to leave us both alone. I mentally shook myself. I didn't know what I was thinking. Rosalie was right. I wasn't the same person. Bella wasn't mine.

"I'm not sure that's the case Emmett," Carlisle said slowly. "The way he looks at her… The way I see it, is that in his head, instead of over one hundred, he's still seventeen. He's never been in love, he doesn't know what he feels for Bella _is _love. Either that or he's being stubborn with himself." I snorted.

"I vote second option!" Emmett chuckled. "He always was stubborn, especially about staying virginal!" I heard someone hit him, and I raised my eyebrows. What was wrong with… saving yourself? I wasn't married. Well, apparently I was… And times had changed since 1917…

"He's just hurting everyone by staying here," Rosalie hissed. "He should go," I had to stop listening. I had to. I rushed into the dining room, turning on the TV as loud as it would go, trying to concentrate on the bright figures smiling on the screen, happy families.

"Edward?" Nessie asked over the blast of volume. She flinched when she said Edward, as if not saying Dad caused actual pain to her. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. "Nothing." I was getting more and more worked up, and Nessie's perfect eyebrows pulled a little closer together as she frowned. I grabbed the remote, jabbing the button until the volume was at normal.

"Nessie did I leave my sweatshirt somewhere here, because it's not at home?" Jacob crashed through the room, looking under the table.

"I haven't seen it," she answered calmly, her eyes fixed on me. Suddenly the room was filled with people again, looking for lost objects, shouting commands and plans of escape to each other. I felt claustrophobic and I span around, trying to get away out of this. Nothing was making sense. Everything was wrong. I couldn't take it.

"STOP!" I bellowed at the top of my lungs. Everyone stared at me. "Why won't you explain anything to me? Why am I here? Why did you take me if none of you even want me here? Bella sighed, her liquid gold eyes pools of sadness.

"Someone please explain, I can't do it," she breathed, flopping down into a chair. She bit her lip, and in that moment, I had never seen anything so heartbreakingly beautiful.

**AN:**

**Umm yeah hi… shit :P I'm SO SO sorry! I do have a really long excuses list of why it took this long, but I won't bother telling you them all, you'll get bored. Basically some shit happened, and then I went on holiday for three weeks, and then I started sixth form college, and everything's been so so busy, and I'm too tired to even do my homework, let alone write anything. But now I'm getting into the swing of college, hopefully I'll speed up with updates, although I can't promise anything. **

** And I know that not enough happened in this chapter for a two month update. I'm sorry. Forgive me :) And I was going to do some Bella POV but I tried and it didn't really work for me :P Please review, even if you're pissed off with me! x**


	11. AN: Time for a break

**A/N:  
**

**Hey everyone. This is really hard to write, because I don't normally do things like this, and I feel so bad. I'm stopping writing for a while. I don't know how long for yet. My account will still be here, and if you need to ask **_**anything **_**I'm still checking emails and stuff. I'm also reviewing. But at the moment, all this needs to take a back seat. I'm failing English, so I need to work A LOT harder, although my whole class is failing, so it's not quite so drastic as it sounds! And as it gets closer to my first A-level exams, I don't need a distraction. And there's stuff at home going on too. It would be better for everyone if I could update regularly, and there's gonna be months between updates if I carry on like this. I just have no time.**

**I LOVE writing, but I really can't cope with everything right now. You understand, right? I'll be back as soon as I can, but can I just say, you've all been fantastically amazing. The reviews on this story have been the nicest reviews I think I've ever gotten, they make my day. Thank you for sticking by me despite my unreliability! You don't know how grateful I am. Ouch I'm babbling now. I am SO SO SO SO sorry; I know I shouldn't stop in the middle of this story.**

**Please understand!  
**

**Love Natalie x**


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